losing my sanity...

[hope3343]

What is the word my H used in describing what it would be if we got a D. Yes, I know the word he used was "fair". If we got a D all he asked is that I would be "fair" with him. We worked together for all our financial growth so it would be only "fair" that we divide it equally.
That word was floating in my head today. But what did I miss? Was it "fair" that you decided you no longer wanted your M or your family and decided to cheat? How "fair" was that? It is ok if he broke all the rules and was totally disrespectful but remember to be "fair". Is it "fair" that he goes away on vacation with OW, spending our "equal money" he took from 401K plan for spending.

I have DBed but H is totally in the fog babble. I know this, I do know it is not my H and replaced by an alien but seeing the pain my D15 is going through it is difficult.

I have asked my H to hold off going for D till we get our D15 back on track. She is having issues with school, migraines, and depression. I told him that she should be the #1 priority so he said well get her an appt with a C asap. Long as it doesn't stop his agenda for getting a D with the OW egging him on so she can get her prize. Should I tell her that her prize is about $30K into credit card debt, has gone through 2/3 of his 401K and think he is going to dig into my 401K with the D.
Really having an off day and figure I vent here instead of picking up a 2x4 and smacking him in the head.
I do not even know him right now and I do not even like him.
I keep looking for my H but I can't even get a glimmer of the man he was.
Since this all started in the summer he has never fence sitted or cake eating once. He has said this is his choice and for me to move on. It is like he is made of stone. This is like a heroin addiction that he has for this Ow. 21 years vs. 6 month A. I know no expectations but I am very discouraged these days. If it was just me I could take it but he is basically ignoring his D15 also and choses to ignore her pain. This kid used to think he was her hero. WTH. he has really tarnished in her eyes. He just tells her that doesn't he deserve to be happy? I have to keep praying and really give this up to God because I realize that I am powerless over this.