When I Look At The Stars

[ernest88]

Some women just don't know a good thing when it comes along

.

I think she truly knows Tim but something inside her won't let her step away from the stalker guy..

I'm not looking for one without drama..we all have drama..I'm looking for one smart enough to separate the old drama out and leave it in the past..one that has learned a little from a past R..one that has changed for the better..

I have no clue where you could find a woman like that.

[Distressed67]

I'd offer you my W but she does not fit the bill.

[sofaraway]

with that I'm gonna give myself a hand and pat myself on the back..

You keep attracting these loco women and you will be giving yourself a "hand" for a mighty long time my friend....

Ian

[mindfull]

Mike:

I found you!

I have just a sec, but I have to tell you... I was somewhat dreading looking around in the "Surviving the Big D" forum, because who the hell wants to hear about that when you're fighting for your marriage and you "think" it's working...

But, I have to tell you, I have been SO amused reading in here. What a kick. The senses of humor, the talk re: dating, etc... Very funny.

I have a SUPERB date for you who lives next door. How attractive is the frigid Chicago area to you?

Thanks for posting and offering your insight on my thread.

[ernest88]

You keep attracting these loco women and you will be giving yourself a "hand" for a mighty long time my friend....

I'm thinking of moving to Memphis and putting your sorry asss to work as my "relationship" consultant...the pay's not that great but I'll keep you stocked in beer..

[ernest88]

I have just a sec, but I have to tell you... I was somewhat dreading looking around in the "Surviving the Big D" forum, because who the hell wants to hear about that when you're fighting for your marriage and you "think" it's working...

But, I have to tell you, I have been SO amused reading in here. What a kick. The senses of humor, the talk re: dating, etc... Very funny.

we have a good time..it's one big party all night every night..

anytime I can help I'll be glad to..

I've never been to Chicago...much Batchitt crazy in those parts??

[ernest88]

I've waited a bit to respond here and will probably still not respond correctly but here goes..

you can do whatever you want. That is the beauty of all this.

to that I say I will and it is..

You don't have to agree with me.

and I get that..

and I shouldn't jump in with my impressions without you asking.

and this is the part that pisses me off a bit Kathleen..whether you post to me is up to you..I don't "ask" for people to post to me..it's up to each individual what they want to add or not add..I really see no problem with me asking for clarification when I don't understand EXACTLY what you are saying..I've mentioned from day one to certain posters here that I have a need to have things "dumbed down"...to be honest I work much better on common sense and straight up and to the point..I HATE trying to have to figure out a post that is filled with riddles, what if's..where to's and all that other stuff.

So with that..you can post to me or not..that's up to you.

and an update..

still some contact from MHS38..texting mostly..I'm talking with a new lady..virginiaschoolteacher41..three daughters, married one time, divorced 9 years..I'm taking her out Saturday I think..
meeting a lady I have been emailing/texting tomorrow for appetizers / drinks..it's a blind thing..so I have no clue how that will go....we will see..

On the Kim front..she brought a little email drama yesterday..a discussion about the child support payments led to her saying that she detected hostility in my emails..what she detects as hostility is actaully straight up and to the point business...she ended up letting me know how hard this had been on her and how she "mourned the loss of our love and marriage"..TBH and frank..I just can't validate and empathize with that bullchitt anymore and I did not...I simply do not feel sorry for her or the chitty marriage that she helped create..and she is now well aware of the fact that $727 a month in CS is $727..does not matter how you figure it..bi-weekly, weekly, by the sec., by the minute, by the signs..it makes no frinklin difference in the end it still comes out $727 a month..

[Gypsy]

Here goes, Mike..

If I found I was getting the same results over and over again, I'd ask myself.. is it me or is it them? Since the people change, I'd figure it was me that was drawn to this type of behavior.

My next question would be what would I do about it? In the past I'd connect with men who would eventually withdraw emotionally and never seemed to like all of who I was. At times I'd probably even qualify as batchitt crazy because I was so needy. And why was I needy? Because I chose men who wouldn't or couldn't give what I needed.

Now through this process I've learned I'm responsible for my happiness. I'm responsible for my choices. I choose how quickly I connect with a man. I'm responsible for the consequences. I choose the level of involvement.

So.. I guess what I'm dancing around is.. If the same thing keeps happening over and over to you, you're doing it to yourself. You can continue doing what doesn't work and/or try something different.

[Gypsy]

Where Kim is concerned.. know why you're angry at her. Is it from the stalker's behavior that brought out the supreme protector mode, something you did for Kim while married?

It's good to hear she admits to mourning the loss. She's waking up. That can only help on the co-parenting front. What's wrong with saying "Uh huh, but this is the new reality. We can still be committed to what's best for our daughter." Simple and sweet. You're not her shrink.

[Sugar and Spice]

and she is now well aware of the fact that $727 a month in CS is $727..does not matter how you figure it..bi-weekly, weekly, by the sec., by the minute, by the signs..it makes no frinklin difference in the end it still comes out $727 a month..

Magical thinking is a frightening thing Mikey. An Kim is not ready for the real world and learning that things don't go your way 99% of time, lifes a beotch...get a helmet. She is mourning the loss of her ability to manipulate you. She percieves "straight up business" as hostility becuase you are no longer emotionally invested in anything but a co-parent R with her. She likes the drama and she is used to it being with you. I truly believe the opposite of love is not hate...its indifference. I know this is mostly just rambling BS,but FWIW you are a catch and MHS38 is a fool and may be realizing too late what she let get away.