Hi Veronica, I hadn't cried like today in a long time - had a lot to do with the end of the holidays, I suspect...dropping off my son, worrying about my brother and sister, worrying about my W, still not getting enough sleep...and having to go out of town again tomorrow - sometimes it just feels like so much is going on at once...but all that aside, thanks for pointing out the positives - she did assume I was concerned about her - and it didn't upset her...for the first time in a long time...
As I let go more and more - I feel more - but I also understand so much more...like today, I heard a phrase on the radio that I just can't stand...it's the phrase, "You have to understand that..." - which always strikes me as assuming that the listener hadn't considered what the speaker is about to say...and I used to call people on it a bit...I did stuff like that with my W too - when she would ask me "what are thinking about?" which I always thought was such a hallow way to start a conversation without offering anything oneself...and she would always say it when she had something she wanted to talk about - and so I would ask her again and again not to ask me what I'm thinking about - but just to tell me what she wants to talk about...big controlling DAM...and that's something that just hit me today...as I detach and just listen and learn to myself...
I wonder what she'll be like when she comes by to pick up baby tonight...I'll be friendly no matter what...and just wish her the best...I was thinking of offering her some plantains I have in the kitchen that will likely go bad while I'm out of town...they're a big part of Peruvian comfort food...though I don't know if she ever makes that stuff for herself anymore...
My son is leaning against me right now while I'm typing - he's just relaxed and being so sweet and cuddly...I love my boys so much.
