No probs Julia! Cyrena seems to have a talent for explaining it, thats true!
Wow Cyrena.. my ex is 35 and the mate he goes out drinking with most is...24! Other friends are in the 26-29 bracket. Helen is reportedly a very 'young' 29 who still lives at home.
We never drank at home and didnt go out often before the bomb, but he began drinking wine every night after leaving me, he was on a bottle - a bottle and a half a day, but now he only drinks when he goes out, but always gets drunk. His BMF W told me at Christmas that he is drinking ALOT, but I knew that.
I wouldnt say I was in an abusive R.. as I'm not in an R with him anymore! But I take your point. Theres that thing that if you met a man now who treated you this way, would you bother with them? No! But, we 'forgive' someone you've been close to for so many years. Plus he has never spewed at me, or been mean or anything. I just really miss him. I was in the lucky position of him being one of my best mates for a couple of years BEFORE we got together, and then him being my best mate for the next 9 years as well as my BF, so I miss his friendship and companionship. I do still struggle with the thought he doesnt want much to do with me, although he has told me several times lately that he misses me, which is nice to know.
I do feel he is unreachable and not his old self. The ex I knew saw things like photographs as very precious..but he hasnt mentioned the 9 years of photos we have here. He's never mentioned our joint finances or property. He never mentioned our beloved cat from the day he died (a week before the bomb). He cries more than I do on the occassions we have spoken. He would never let me go to his flat, which is plain wierd, considering the level of contact we were having, and really not rational/normal.
