Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

I'm all good. Just sometimes I can be my own worst enemy and never stop anayzing everything.

I was put to the test royally as one of our mutual friends showed up out of the blue shortly after W left on Saturday. I knew it was a 'scope him out and see what he says about what just happened' scinerio. To which I devuldged nothing other than we spoke for a while, made some good progress and somebody has some conscience issues.

I know she's confused, but I'm not so sure as to about what. Like I said, she pretty much relies on him for transportation and no doubt in someway some kind of financial support. Then there's the "I don't want to hurt the kids' stuff, that I really don't want to hear. But then again, that could all be well and true.

I just know that now two times in a row, I have sat, saw and conversed with the real person who was my W, not some fake, not someone who was darting out the door at a moments notice after looking for a fight. This person didn't want to leave, and yet again seemed to be screaming for some type of mental assurance and physical affection that just ain't happenening just yet. What's that term, baby steps?

I also know she's now embarrased, embarassed of what she's done in front of her family friends and how it's echoed across the village. That's going to make 'being friends' a bit rough, but for me I'd rather be right out there in front of everyone who thinks I'm purely nuts for still wanting her back, and stick it in their face and show them what determination and marriage is all about. Any jackarse can get a divorce, but only the strong can accomplish what I hope I'm on the verge of.

I just know she'll want to move if things pan out well and we get through this. She already flat-out indicated that she absolutely will not move back in our house, understood, too much stress. That damn house is pretty much all the reason for this grief.

Well, I'd best get some work done.

What the hay happened to AmyC, could really use her take on the situation of the situation.