You're absolutely right about the R talk. I do that often, and I really need to stop. I guess I just see the fact that we can enjoy our time together as evidence that our M can be saved, and that makes me want to discuss the issue. But this is wrong and I know that. We actually went out as a family to dinner last night, and as usual we had a very nice time, and this morning she and I rode the train in together and we talked and laughed. Today she called me to see how my day was--this was a first in a long time--I'm usually the one to make the first call. My fear is that all she's concerned about is making sure we stay friends for our D's sake, which is of course necessary, but I want more. Anyhow, I'm really working on letting go. I prayed a lot this weekend, and I really feel that God wants me to totally lay this at his feet and know that He can and will fix the situation in His way and His time. So, I am moving forward with the separation plans and just trusting this to God. And I will try very hard to cease all R talks! I haven't read the Dobson book but I will pick it up. I just started reading "Not Just Friends" and found it to be very useful. I see my life unfolding in that book. If you haven't read that one then I highly recommend it. Based on your situation I really do think that your H needs to see the consequences of his actions first hand. I think the boundaries you are setting are good and hopefuly they will open his eyes. You hang in there as well and keep the faith.
