I'd just say that whatever you do right now, do not begin backing down on living your own life according to what YOU want to do.
I'm not saying date. Not at all.
I'm saying that you cannot give your wife the impression that she is controlling your actions with her outbursts. This is the pattern that she wants and is used to.
You need to break that pattern to get her to look at this relationship honestly.
If she wants you to attone for past mistakes, that's an issue. And it should be coming up in marital counseling, not by attempting to control you into the behavior she wants.
You have to break the cycle here. I like that you spoke honestly to her about her still being in love with you. I find it amazing that she is at the place where she can hear that and not react negatively to it.
Stay the course. Make the decisions you feel are right, reasonable, and proper. But handle supporting your position like a man, not like a fighter.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
