It seems to be working! Sometimes....

[sandycay]

Hey Sandy

I don't know if your H is a Christian or not, sounds like maybe since he previously viewed himself 'above' some others (you said something like that anyway) in terms of values/ethics/character...

There is a verse that says "as far as east is from the west", that is how far God keeps your sin away once you ask for forgiveness. I am not the best at sharing my faith, but I know I have told this to my H before. That once you confess and change your ways God takes that choice/mistake and casts if far away from you. So you need to let yourself off the hook.....don't know if that made sense!? Of course your H needs to be able to let himself forgive himself, which you can't make him do even if you wish you could...

Yes, H is a Christian...he is not however going to shout about it from the rooftops. He believes in the Lord. We have talked and I have quoted numerous scripture, reminded him of how some of God's strongest men started out as sinners (even by ordering murders)he hears this and agrees but still not absolving himself of his wrong doings. I told him I know he is a good man. He just shakes his head no.

We have talked of the 10 commandments. I have told him it's not like a top 10 list. No sin there is greater than the other. Although, it seems like it should be. It's hard to comprehend that coveting your neighbor or wanting his donkey or stealing is up there with murder but it is.

I guess I am worried about the desperation that he feels it will never go away. Which is true but it will get better.

The big problem is that adultery is everywhere we turn. In just about every movie you see, song you hear, even when we are playing fun games with neighbors and someone says "oh, you cheater". You can feel/see his heart floating out of his chest.

Thanks to both you and T on the reminder to help bolster him. I think I am only doing this during the times of crisis for him so maybe it seems false. Kinda like saying you never buy me flowers and then they bring flowers home.

I am not good with this sort of complimentary thing and am at a loss as to what type of things to say.... any suggetions?

I have upped my appreciation towards him on things he does to help around the house and with the kids so I think these compliments need to be more about him. I have never done that so I don't want it to seem false or overkill, ya know!