Looking backward but only to move forward SEVEN

[kml]

Check your email, girl.

[sgctxok]

I'm here...I wouldn't say there's much (any) friskiness going on at home...that is our biggest problem right now to be sure...but things are definitely much, much better. A lot of it is simply the passage of time and that Charlotte is getting older and in many ways, easier to handle (of course, there is that "tantrum as only a 2.5 YO can throw" side of her...). h and I are definitely acting as much more of a team than we were in the early days of having her around. :-) I see light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm going to try to be around more...we'll see how that works out! And I definitely need to hang out in the SSM area to see what tips they have :-)

Sage

so what can you do to up the friskiness

[sage]

KML -- I DID finally check but never heard back from you...write again?

Sara

[sgctxok]

Hi sage....how are you?

[sage]

SG -- I'm ok. Sorry I've been MIA again. I'm committed to doing more around here.

Home kind of blows right now. For the last few weeks h has been not feeling great which leads to two things for him -- being depressed and essentially ceasing to do pretty much anything to help out -- which in turn makes me alternatively bummed out and pissed. The mood right now is very reminiscent of the "pre-bomb" mood which stinks. It's amazing how quickly I am reminded of that time even though it is 6+ years ago.

Trying to give him some space which is probably a good idea else I'll strangle him. It's always a fine line, though, because he wants his space but he also wants to be wanted. Insert emoticon of Sage doing a tightrope dance here

I'm actually back here today to re-read some old threads if you can believe it...perhaps I will be inspired.

Sage

[sage]

Ok, wow, I can't access my old threads. ugh! The furthest I can go back is right after Charlotte was born so all I'm able to read is me ranting about how much work I'm doing, how little h is doing, how depressed we all are about that, how wonderful Charlotte is, and how I want to get my M back on track but lack the stamina for it.

Yikes. I could just say "ditto" right now. :-( I don't want to go down in history THAT way!

I seriously need to get my DB act together.

[sage]

OK, found a bunch of my old threads using the search function. Looks like I should be able to retrieve them all, if only for my own use.

I just spent a little time reading one from around 10/2004 and let me just say -- WHOA-- no wonder hubby is feeling a little out of sorts....I have gone from focused, committed, and really loving to, well, busy, distracted, etc. I'm not saying it's particularly possible or necessary to keep up the lovefest 24/7 with all else going on (um, kid...not quite 3 YO) but honestly, I think I had truly forgotten how focused and dedicated I was to turning the M around. And a lot of the stuff that I just read wasn't super human effort but more like an attitude...of wanting to do the right thing by him, of trying to make things positive for him, of wanting to speak his LL, etc.

Egads. I have my work cut out for me.

Sage

[Phoenix_spark]

Well if nothing else you can see you've done this once before, you know what to do again. Refocus and do it again. Re-correcting is much simpler than rebuilding.

[amd]

Agreed. Attitude is everything, as they say.

Sage, look at the words at the end of your signature line. They are your guidelines.

What one thing did you do today to make the shift?

Be well.

[sage]

Egads...two weeks since I posted? Hiya AMD and PS

I'm back with goals...thought them up this AM...

I've always been a big fan of having 3 goals...1 for me, 1 for the "M" in general, and 1 to specifically address something that's bugging h...

1. (Me) Get back in shape and lose the 15 lbs that have been dogging me for years. I really, really need to do this to a) feel better about myself and b) get up the nerve to start initiating w/h again (that's a whole other post). I signed up for WW online and today is day 1, so far so good. And, I went to the gym this AM and started my "couch potato to 5K" running program again. I'm jazzed up about this.

2. (Marriage in general) This may not seem particularly meaningful to most but I need to stop talking so much. My talking right now is doing a couple of negative things: a) Preventing me from listening (and showing attention to h) b) Keeping h from having the room to talk and c) seriously impacting h's relationship with Charlotte. She is SO attached to me that she goes to me for everything...I need to give them more space to relate and one thing that would definitely help is if I didn't feel the need to talk ALL THE TIME.

There's plenty of other goals to be addressed M-wise but this is a good start.

3. (Addressing an issue of h's). Gotta start cleaning/decluttering the house. I realized this AM that the reason why h isn't helping out anymore is that he's checked out because he doesn't think I'm taking his issues with the clutter around the house seriously. IOW, he's thinking "well, I've complained about it and she's not fixing it so I'm out of the game." How did I forget this about my husband? I know if I make a concerted effort to start cleaning/decluttering that he will evenutally get engaged. I just need to take the first step.

So, in summary:
1. Diet/exercise to lose weight/get fit
2. STOP talking
3. START cleaning

HNY to you all -- how is everyone?

Sage