Read the DR about 5 times. It is helpful, but I am taking a rest on the reading and researching right now, because I need to stop analyzing, do my walk for a while and listen to Him. Just shut up, shut down and listen...
did not want to wake up this morning, felt completely exhausted, like I had run a marathon, asked the question again last night, reconciliation, or is it just me? No answer, but it is a tough one and I know a lot of it depends on this walk I am taking and my conversations with Him. That at least makes me feel better.
Called her this morning about car insurance money. she says she's broke, she's sorry, but after making a car payment and stratening out her bank account and getting food and gad there is no more money. I told her I cannot afford it, next week she will owe another payment. 260 bucks I don't have. Are we ready for this. She had been telling me and everyone else they are pushing to get her on full time, to which I know they are not. Well she informed me this morning they are cutting her hours back to 1 o'clock. she has Wednesday's off. that means she is working 20 hours a week. She told me she is trying to unload some stuff. She had taken some antiques from our house a couple of months ago and I figured she was trying to sell them. She is probably selling the jewelry I bought her, diamond wedding band, gold wedding rings, diamond earrings. She was at my house right before Xmas getting stuff out of her jewelry box, who knows. She is going to call me tonight to let me know where that stands. She said she hopes to unload some stuff this week.
I made no threats about er car insurance. I did tell her, I pay my bills on Monday, you told me you'd contact me about the money, I need to pay these bills. I cannot afford to fall behind again. She said she understands and then I told her about the end of next week when it will be due. I told her I can't afford her insurance. i left it at that for now, no threat about cancelling her from my policy, get your own, blah, blah, blah...Wouldn't matter, just makes me look like an ass....
I will wait to hear from her tonight, she won't call, I'm not an idiot...Like everything else in her life right now, if she ignores it maybe it will just go away...
Forcing myself to the gym tonight. Spent most of yesterday doing laundry and watching football. Should have gone to the gym and done something , but I was wiped out. Don't know why, but I was. Need to get out of the house at least 3 nights a week I figure. I am going out saturday night, Gym tonight, most likely every night this week to get me jump started. I might be going out to play cards Friday night, but I am not sure yet.
I do not want to hound her for the car insurance money all week. If I don't hear from her tonight (LOL) then I will call her friday. Doing the walk is much easier if she is not in my head at any level.
