I have those same urges. There are moments in which I really think calling H and asking him what we could do to get back to each other would work. Then I remember that we have already had those conversations, many of them in one way or another, before he left. I still have moments where I find it hard to believe that simple, straightforward dialogue would not resolve things, as it always has in the past.
I think this is because the issues are smaller for us as LBS because we are not struggling with inner demons. I also think we still believe they are away because of us, so that if we let them know we can change, all should be resolved. But they are not away because of us. They are away because of themselves. For whatever reason, our spouses feel they need to be away and alone. I think so long as they feel that way, we cannot talk them home.
