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Oh heavens....I thought you said she chose him. Why is she contacting you then if he is what she wants? Confused much?


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Originally Posted By: mishka422
Oh heavens....I thought you said she chose him. Why is she contacting you then if he is what she wants? Confused much?


it appears she is looking for drama..he seems to have disapeered..fine upstanding young man that he is..I hate it for him..

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Hey Mike..

What a beautiful time to be able to communicate what you want upfront.. to set your boundaries.

You are in control of your decisions. She in responsible for her actions. Heck.. both of you are.

Would you enter into a business relationship with her once you've seen how your dynamics operate? How would an emotional relationship be different?

Right now it's your drama.. not hers.

*hugs*

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Quote:
Right now it's your drama.. not hers.


so you need to explain that to me...HOW IS THAT MY DRAMA???

I'm not contacting her Kathleen..I'm not playing in to that mess..so how you get it's mine??

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Mike - Sounds like it's all coming to a head with the ladies. I just caught up a bit and I definately didn't understand the bad boy thing myself but it seems to work. I'm not like that at all, but I definately was more the needy type as gypsy (i think) mentioned on the last page. Now I'm just like, WTF, have a laugh, take the mickey out of each other and just being the jokey guy I am, whilst still throwing in the compliments that ladies love.

It's working for me and has done a few times. I wouldn't say it exactly comes totally naturally but I'm the same person underneath and MOT35 certainly seems to be liking it....he he

I can't figure out why some of these girls like me though. Don't get me wrong, I don't lack confidence but, especially MOT35, could have a choice of men as she is a catch. Pretty and loaded !!!

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Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee


it appears she is looking for drama..he seems to have disapeered..fine upstanding young man that he is..I hate it for him..


Mike.. you can do whatever you want. That is the beauty of all this.

My post was projecting how I might react in the same situation. Lots of drama.. my choice if I engaged. You don't have to agree with me.. and I shouldn't jump in with my impressions without you asking. A skill I'm working on.

*hugs*

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Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
Originally Posted By: mishka422
Oh heavens....I thought you said she chose him. Why is she contacting you then if he is what she wants? Confused much?


it appears she is looking for drama..he seems to have disapeered..fine upstanding young man that he is..I hate it for him..


So what now?


M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
~~~~~~~
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option


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Quote:
So what now?


me personally?? I'm dodging and weaving..slipping punches and keeping my feet moving..

See...this is not my drama...

now if i use what I learned from the previous thread on Normal/abnormal from Ian/Mish and others then I know MHS38 is a glutton for punishment..she has been abused by men in some form all her life..so naturally she will gravitate towards those men. ;\) and TBH she knows what she gave up when she chose stalker guy...so she took stalker guy back..it lasted about a day...then let me know she wanted to be alone./.take care of her kids...get her head on straight..no problem for me because in all actuality..I have no problem getting dates..so Mike moves forward..even make vague references on my FB account about moving forward...so..stalker guy does not work out,,leaves,,does not make contact with her..so she falls back on the nice guy, except..I think she fell back to get an argument from me ;\) see..SHE HAS TO HAVE THE DRAMA..she was raised on it, she was married into it, she divorced it, then she went and found some stalker drama..so I gave her every opportunity to get rid of stalker guy..but she just could not do it and I don't really think she ever will..

so...with that I'm gonna give myself a hand and pat myself on the back..

and continue to do what I'm doing..

I'm going to try and identify the drama as it comes..side step it and move forward..

I pride myself in the fact I bring no drama...

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Good on you Mike!!! Can't wait to hear of your next adventures in dating. You could write a sitcom about all of this! You know I have to live vicariously through your exciting life, right? Keep it coming!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Mike,

Some women just don't know a good thing when it comes along. Sounded like you two had hit it off but its a good thing you found out what she was like before you invested too much time and effort into the R.

I also believe you will never find a women without a little drama its all in how much and what kind they have and or make.


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