Frank, I know just how you feel. For a long time I bent over backwards, trying to keep the lives of my kids as normal as possible. I set no boundaries because I felt guilty if I did so.
Everyone told me that it was up to my X and my kids to form their own new relationships with each other. It took me YEARS to get this thru my head.
You are lucky that your daughters will go to her. Only one of my 3 kids will go to their dad's house. Still, not my problem. I was willing to do whatever it took to keep this marriage...
It helps me to look at it this way: Do I have access to his house? Can I go there unannounced and walk right in? Nope. So why should I feel guilty for expecting from him what he expects from me?
You'll get there, Frank. You are a good man, trying to do the right thing. Don't feel bad when you need to make the decisions with "what is good for Frank?" at the top of your list. It doesn't make you a bad person to protect yourself and your sanity.
