I did tell him over Christmas holidays. We finally just had it out to an extent and I told him that I would do whatever, would he please go to counseling with me, that I loved him, I made a mistake, etc. But the answer was no. And I don't blame him. So I put it out there and I'm not gonna bring it back up again. That week we fought was awful. So I've been quiet. Just trying to be there if he needs me and do the things he does ask of me. Mostly he says we have to be friends because he couldn't stand not being friends with me. So that is what I am doing for now. It's hard. I know he needs the space.
It's just that sometimes, he makes me feel like he is waiting for me to act. I don't initiate contact. I let him do it. And sometimes I feel like he is waiting for me to initiate it. If we both back so far off, then both of us will be determined that the other wants nothing to do with the other.
I do think that if he changes his mind, though, he knows where I stand.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
