I can't tell if you want a recon. If so, and if it's real for you to say so, you could tell her that you forgive her. I have forgiven my h, even though his affair is ongoing. I truly have forgiven him and hope that if his happiness lies elsewhere, that he finds it there.
I guess what I'm saying is that I think guilt can bar a recon. So if that's want you want, it might be a good place to start.
