In the past few years it has been the norm for the family to all meet up at BIL & SIL for dinner on new years day but last year for obvious reasons W opted out and now she's doing the same this year. This is all part of her avoiding anyone who knows the details of out recent history. I told her earlier in the week that she should go round to see BIL & SIL and not to avoid them but she said no way.
Anyway we had a row cos I had txt'ed SIL to see what time dinner was and SIL phoned back but ended up talking to W who wasn't too happy. W shouted at me and wanted to know why I had txt'ed SIL, when I told her I can tx't who I want (not the best reply from me)W made and interesting comment where she said "wait til I start txting people again" ( I sensed a veiled threat there). Anyway all that is water under the bridge, W not talking to me and we heading to the new year, I'm not in the mood to kiss ass and make the piece
She really is [censored] hard work, who said the road a head leads to happiness.
I've been off line with computer problems. thats why I've been so quiet.
Well we seemed to have come full circle, 4 days in to the new year and W still angry with me and she not talking, just like the old bad old days it seems. Anyway tonight she went up to bed early playing on her DS, I told her we need to talk tomorrow when shes not so pre occupied but she just blanked me.
Not sure what to say tomorrow but I'm not looking for any in depth R talk cos if there is an "issue" it will come out on its own. I'm just going to point out its a New Year and look where we are. Also that shes not doing much to help prevent these fall outs. Don't think I can say much more.
Anyway I've started setting myself some goals for 2009, I'll list a few in no particular order.
-Hook up with some old friends I've not seen for years(I txted some at new years) I've got 5 so far on my list.
-Do my 10k run for charity (must do it in under an hour).
-Get a Sat Nav at minimal cost (This is a Tecky challenge,I'll explain later for anyone who is interested).
-Find a real hobbie, W says I'm boring so there a challenge for me.
-Find some Man time away from W and D7,I've already got some ideas, and it will include interacting with members of the opposite sex. ( no cheating though).
-Teach D7 to swim (we already go on Sundays)also teach her to ride a bike.
I've got a few more I'm thinking about but the good thing is they'll stop me thinking about W and whats going on in her world.
-> Find some Man time away from W and D7,I've already got some ideas, and it will include interacting with members of the opposite sex. ( no cheating though). Lan, Can you explain this one too some more.
That should have read somthing like socialize more with men and women, cos if I look to my circle of friends it's really shrunk and on the female side its just female relatives. So I'm just looking to make more friends including females but there will be no cheating. I mentioned the no cheating before any responded and said be careful etc etc.
OK I managed to get it out of W that she angry cos I was speaking to BIL and SIL without her knowledge, she also threw in a couple of things to make it seem more sinister (not true)but that is always her way. I told her it's the fourth day of 2009, say your piece get rid of the anger and we move on, but shes still ignoring me so I'm just gonna get on with doing my things and keep happy.
Oh last thing W wants to go to MIL & FIL for dinner I gonna tell her I am happy to go if we have resolved our differences if not then I've got jobs to do around the house, I'm not going to sit making happy small talk then W ignore me again when we leave.
Sorry you have to go through this bullsh*t. You are one patient man my friend. Unless you are lying through your teeth and you committed a major blunder, I see no reason why your wife is treating you this way. You deserve so much more....is it me or is your wife trying to find ways to get angry with you on a regular basis? Is there a possibility that OM has resurfaced? J
Its difficult to sum up W but the simplest way would be to say control freak. If shes not in control of you as a person she'll either cut you off or argue with you until it wears you down. And if she really wants to wrest back control she'll go and have an A. well that what she did last time.
It's not just me on the recieving end at the moment, BIL and SIL to a lesser extent come in for some rough treatment and thats all because W and MIL can't meddle in their M cos they moved a distance away which its not too far, but far enough where you have to make an effort to see them. The underlaying reason behind this latest thing is W complains that BIL never visits her or MIL so she in no mood to visit them. I'm now getting it in the neck cos I dared to speak to them without her knowledge. Its funny cos I've delt with that issue but we just argued over somthing really trivival but that only calmed cos I backed down.
On the possibility of OM, well that possibility will always be there and if there is somthing going on well shes doing a better job of hiding it cos I see no obvious signs. I'll have to see if she makes plans to visit a friend and packs an overnight bag. That was one trigger for me, a bit like Mexico for you. Anyway I know the drill thats why I'm looking to work on my goals for the new year rather than worry abouy what W is up to and I'm looking forward to making new friends cos who knows what the future holds.
