2008 = Crazy Year (Havin Fun @ 21?)

[Sugar and Spice]

RECORD the conversations, and PLAY them for the C, and see what she says.
It's ABUSE -- period. If she doesn't agree, then get a new C.
Puppy

Do what Pup suggests but play them for K's C with W there. If there is to be a "family" discussion of the demise of your family, then the C should definately be willing to play moderator. You have to beat W at her own game Lost. She is spewing and the only control you have in the situation is to make her responsible for her spew by confronting her with it in front of the C. She wants to play grown up games, so let her be a grown up.

[lost_in_space]

Hey all. More of the same cr@p. More of the kids being involved. Some updates:

* I take S13to rink. Turns out W is there doing volunteer stuff. W hasn't been home all day - house is a disaster. K's make their own supper. D16 calls me to leave rink and go to store to get her something to eat – she is not feeling well. I get home after game and all 3 kids have friends over. Play game with S13 and friend (RISK again). W finally home at 1 am and of course right away start dictating schedules.

* W has our kids sorting through stuff in basement as to what goes to what house!!!??? Taking matters in own hands again I see. Also find out W has once again talked S13 into going to rink with her even though he and I made plans last night about it. I talk to S13 after, tell him that I do not want to put him in the middle and say not to change anything for this time, but for next time, when we have plans, need to tell mom so and then me - I will not let her change plans if they are already made. After S13's game I go out to friends (the ones we were supposed to go to Hawaii with - they are back). 11:30 and kids are going to bed already anyway.

* This morning, coffee pot over flowing. I was getting stuff to clean it up. W came over and tried to kick me out of the way. I continued cleaning up - had it under control. When I went to get more paper towels, you cam in and took over. Too funny - I just smiled.

* More from this morning... S13 scored a goal yesterday - and the deal was he would get a new stick when he scored. I held up my end of the bargain. W got pi$$ed off - started yelling. "Is this a joint b'day present? Would have been nice to discuss. I was already planning something" (taking S13 to NHL game on his birthday which has NOT been discussed at all with me). I asked W to lower her voice (all kids were there) and she said no, the k's would see through the BS; W said that just because you have all the control for now with the money "We are still parents and need to discuss what happens with the kids." Like you have done this AT ALL in the last while. You say you can't afford anything like a $300 stick. I say that this was a deal S13 and I had a while back.

BTW - I have my audio recorder at the ready!

[Tawnya]

{{{{LIS}}}} Argh..I hate that so much..how you sit there and keep your cool wins you "cool man crown" of the day

I hope things get better for you and the kids SOON!

Tawnya

[lost_in_space]

(((Tawnya)))

Thank you. Things will get better. It is just the start of the new year. I am feeling ok for me but like cr@p for my k's. That needs to change!

W IS, I think, starting to feel a few repercussions... slowly. May not change anything, but reality is always good.

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Lost))) she better be glad I can't find my utility belt. Super Bitch is looking for a fight these days.

I'm sorry it has to get this bad before it gets better. I'm prayin' for yuh.

[whatdidido]

My suggestion is to get all of you to a family counselor...fast!!!! You need to all talk with someone that can help keep things healthy.

Having the kids separate their things to two houses with one parent.....I'm apalled!! Were the kids bawling? I'm so sad for them.

[Sugar and Spice]

Lost her having them separate their stuff before anything has been decided or resolved is also VERY abusive. She needs to stop before she does more damage to those K's.

She takes out her anger and frustration with her inability to get to you by hurting your k's...they are a captive audience and can't do anything about her or her behavior.

[lost_in_space]

(((S&S))) and (((wdid)))

Thanks for stopping. I agree with both of you - putting the kids in the middle is garbage. wdid, strange is that the kids did not feel or at least appear too upset - mind you, Saturday was only a sorting day in preparation.

I am all in favor of a counsellor, but not W's. That has been recommended by my C, my physician and my L. Yet W will not agree to that - she says the k's are comfortable with her C. Have to deal with that one.

A little journalling from yesterday. W was doing laundry (all but mine of course). She asks D16 to get her clothes for the wash. She has an ankle injury from sports, so she asks D11 to get it for her. D11 is busy so I go do that. When I bring it to the laundry room, W says sarcastically with a wicked smirk "oh aren't you just jumping when the k's say so. Goody for you." I just smile and walk away.

[hopeful4her]

Dude, she is F'ing non-stop. You don't deserve that treatment and her words are completely uncalled for.

Suga, please go kick her ass.

Randy, don't say that you'll have to deal with that. Find a counselor and set it up yourself. Your home is completely toxic and cannot be good for the kids. I feel so bad for them.

[karen43]

When I bring it to the laundry room, W says sarcastically with a wicked smirk "oh aren't you just jumping when the k's say so. Goody for you."

I'm sorry, LIS, but when I read this, I think "Evil. She's pure evil." I think at this point almost any C would be good don't ya think? I don't imagine any C, would condone her behavior, yeah, it's toxic. I think the C is being lied to or at least not aware of what your W is doing/saying. Maybe if she had the accountability of the kids and you making her accountable with a family C, she would stop? I mean I would hope she would realize what she's doing is harmful to the kids, and any decent C would be shocked I think. Karen