But if you ask my h, he will tell you that it is not what he thought it was because in the beginning you think it is something great and now, he says, it is just an illusion BUT getting out of it, that is another matter.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I think my H is so far into the 'illusion' that he loves it, he can't and won't see outside the illusion, it's like when it's freezin cold outside, and you don't want to go out cause you know how cold you'll get, but sometimes when you DO go out, it's great to smell the cold air and get a cold runny nose and rosy cheeks and then go back in to warm up again ! mmmm not sure that was a good example, but I guess I mean my H is not planning to burst his bubble, he loves it too much in the bubble. Maybe in years to come he will slowly wake up, but now...NO WAY !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders I think my H is the same as yours, he says he is happy and he looks it from what I hear.
My husband's word was his bond back in the day, he was always a good man, hard working and honest, supported us all in every way. A great provider . I think these men, just change and suddenly want different things. When we had contact he was always apologising and even said to his d awhile ago that whilst he is happy he regetted how badly he behaved then.
So does it help us to know they are happy? I guess it moves us out of the limbo and the waiting for whatever "MLC" to end. He has never said an unkind word about me and has tried to be fair in all the D proceedings etc.
I guess so much depends on the type of man they were before they hit their crisis.
Either way, I do believe we have to let them go completely and live our own lives as if they are never coming back. It makes us much stronger.
You know, my h has never looked happy and I cannot even begin to tell you how many times he has told me or texted me saying how unhappy and miserable he is over there.
It is really interesting to hear how these people are either happy or unhappy, yet they continue........
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
You know my H and his ow are living in their own wonderful fairytale, happy, in love, enjoying everything in life because they have the means to do so, and having an easy time with the kids as ow has NO mother disciplining role when they come over. It's all just fantastic.
Now, I can sit here and be bitter and sad about it, but I keep saying to myself, 'I am going to make my own fantastic fairytale !' of course mine will be a bit more level headed, as I'm not floating in my bubble, but I still think, life is what we make of it, and therefore we should make it GOOD for ourselves and our kids !!!!
Them being happy does not mean WE can't be !
We CAN and we SHALL !!
xxxxxxxxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
My H says he won't say anything or admit or defend because it doesn't matter because my mind is already made up. I
those words came from my H's mouthas well WCW!
Cinders your H is living High on an addiction like a heroin addict,,,,he has the nmeans yes to keep the drug flowing. He got addicted early. he will at this time stay high no matter what the cost.
news flash*** the cow called up H yyesterday to say she got a ring from bf for xmas...wtf???
he asked if i thought that was good news....my reply was does the poor sucker know what he getting in for????
She went right from her H to my H to this guy. Do we see a pattern here kids??? does it bring me comfort...no she will cheat with a married man while married...we already know that!
Last edited by a new 2moro; 01/04/0908:36 PM.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Cinders your H is living High on an addiction like a heroin addict,,,,he has the nmeans yes to keep the drug flowing. He got addicted early. he will at this time stay high no matter what the cost.
Exactly N2M ! My H is high - VERY HIGH - on his addiction, and yes, he is not planning to EVER give it up !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
It bothers me that H still holds cow in high reguard ...he wont see her for what she really is...he still tries meekly to defend her as a person. I told him that bothered me but i never got a clear answer.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I think you will never get an answer because it will also speak of his morals at that time period as well.
So she is engaged--send her a congratulations greeting--just kidding.
I don't know what is worse those who are married and going after married people or single people going after married men and staying with them even when they are not going to get a divorce.
The world has turned upside down is all I have to say.
Last edited by MidwesternGirl; 01/08/0903:48 PM.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
[color:#000099]she was married when she went after my H, d'd her H and moved in with mine..so she's both ...I have no doubt she would hop in the sack with mine given the oppurtunity or anyone else's I read something how these OW's go along from one R to another....because thats how they are never realizing what a real R is, just getting taken care of...money and maintenance .
Last edited by a new 2moro; 01/09/0912:07 PM.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
