Well thanks for jumping in, I can always use advice and love to make new friends. That is the key. things YOU need to do. As you have been going through this a while, I am sure you are on top of most things. Doormat, end that situation immediately. Ferris Bueller said it best, "you can't love someone if you don't respect them". Numero uno, make it your mantra. I slipped a week ago, byut that was also prior to my recent meltdown. Trust me I feel like a new person after that. It was such a release, AmyC said she wouldn't read it all because it was crap. It was a release of every negative feeling about me , her, them, this situation and the litchen sink. But she also told me I needed to do it. Here are the key things that get me through it, I willl not preach on the praying and going to church, they give me great feelings of hope and faith thought, so...Totally up to you.:

1. Believe nothing she says
2. Believe less than half of what you see
3. Find people who she would never talk to if you need to vent. this board works best for me and now, my cousing who has always been real close to me.
4. Do not talk about how you feel in this situation unless it is the above confidant. This is absolutely critical. all your hopes and wishes for you and her will be told her at some level, remember the game telephone....
5. Get your financial , mental, and emotional house in order.
6. Do something. I am taking country line dance lessons and love it.
7. Stay tight to your friends and family, if they are like mine they love you uncondionanlly.

These last two are recents and they require your utomost devotion

8. Keep the road home paved and clear. This is both spritual and emotional.
9. Treat her as if she is gone forever, and live and love like she will be coming home tomorrow.

I am very glad to hear my posts have helped. I wish no one was going through this crap, but someone has to. I am a real tough guy, the type of person that backs people down from fights by looking at them. Oh yeah...This is a fight that can only be won in your heart. Tough will keep you going, hope and faith are your strengths, belief in yourself is what make you want to wake up the next day. If you cherish these things the way I have it will help, oh it will still hurt like hell as I am sure you know, but I get up and face it everyday with the same determination. If you move forward and make yourself someone, YOU CAN LOVE, then you cannot lose.

Yeah God speed to Dday, but it goes to show what can happen and as AmyC said, how quickly things can change. We do not know what is going through their minds and as 25year and a few others have indicated to me, to a large degree, neither do they. I pray for your strength and resiliency in this. I hope we all come out on top. Can't wait to hear from Dday. My buddy T'gone, you still there?