25year you're great. When I say "in love" you know what I mean. It is her feeling right now that she is in love, that's what she tells everyone. I understand she is going through something, I truly do, but it hurts me nonetheless. Church was good this morningme and my 2 year old grandson, do the math. He loves the priest and during the recessional always walks with him. Well this morning he felt it necessary to go up to the alter and hang out with him, several times. I kept rushing him back, but the last time I went, the Father gave me the high sign that it is ok. During the recessional he came and got him. I told him how much he looks forward to being with him. Father is a great person. I did as you said and I have been asking Him for a sign of reconciliation or just move on alone in my life without her. No signs yet, but after learning about the POS being at my house, I was , once again, very calm this morning and questioning why I got upset (listen Lucas this is important). I am finding that when I have angry thoughts about her or them, I am waking up without resentment or anxiety. I know what is happening and I am opening up to it more and more. Your input to Dday, did hit some chords with me and I heed the advice deeply. I believe if I stray from this path, I will lose at so many levels it will be impossible to recover. Now I'm actually scared of falling off the path. The walk is working. I told Him today in church, that I am glad I am walking with Him and talking to Him. I feel less emotionally retarded. I am calm and happy with myself. It is hard to see into the future, my dreams are quiet which is not uncommon for me. As I have posted I dream hard and most times, especially repetitive dreams they come true, yes I forsaw this affair. I cannot see the outcome because my mind is dealing with the here and now and what I can control. I loved the story and I do always say to myself, it could be worse, look at the deaths and the turmoil, the life that others have that are in such chaos, yues I do. My world is my world. It is beset with things I can control, and things I can't. I step over the things I can't but at the same time try to figure out a way to understand it. If I can understand it, then I can learn it, master it, and ultimately control it. No I am not a control freak. But if it is in my world, then it must have meaning and relevence to me. I have learned this the hard way. Thanks for posting to me. Not much today. Checking emails, doing laundry, watch some football and load up on some unhealthy foods.
