WAW: Watching & Waiting (part deux)

[Bridgestone]

(((Purple))) thanks for stopping by. I miss talking to you here & in other places!

(((Tim))) I was hoping as well. I have had an OK week-end, it has been focused on the kids, not on H.

S19 headed back to college 10 hours away.. so it was busy getting him out the door yesterday. D14 & I had a good day packing up Xmas stuff, doing a bit of cleaning, & watching some movies. Her & I are getting along really well these days.

((Wifey)) I am glad we are finding each other here as well & that you are reaching out to me. I understand what you are saying about it not being my problem (logically).. not sure how I disconnect that from the 'emotions' that are triggered when I hear disapppointment in my son & H's voice.

It is getting easier... reframing decision making has helped a lot.. I know that I can make & have made good choices for me and that disagreeing with H or S19, does not mean my stuff is automatically 'bad' has helped me be at 'peace' with their temper-tantrums.

Update:
A female (single) friend & I were suppose to meet for drinks & listening to a live band at an Irish pub last night (we did not because the weather got really bad & driving was all but impossible).

I told H this, day before yesterday and he threw his temper tantrum that it was not with him. He heard me say that my friend & I were meeting her friends from the band for drinks.

I had said that she had a friend in the band that had asked her to come to the pub to listen to them (not meet them), so her & I planned to go for drinks & to listen. When he finally heard what I had planned (24 hours later) he apologized.

I then asked him what was so bad with his scenario? To him, me meeting people from the band (friends of a friend) was a 'date' and as long as we were each working on things individually to see if they could eventually work collectively we were exclusive to each other.

If I was going to 'date' then for him he was done working on things for him to eventually work on things for an R.

I am conflicted & having a hard time thinking this one through. This feels controlling to me, 'blackmail' almost. While I have no interest in 'dating' or even looking at other men in that light at this point in my personal life (even if I was single)... agreeing with him is not true to me. I don't view meeting friends of a friend for drinks as a 'date' or looking for a date.

Any input?
thanks & peace
Bridge