I can't believe I only JUST NOW, noticed your thread BBA ! I have missed you too !!!!
And I think it is fantastic that you have found such joy and happiness in life ! A bright future is something we can all look forward to and word our way towards, you have shown us how and I admire you greatly for it !
What incredible things have been posted here, once again by INCREDIBLE people ! I miss you all !!!!!! Boy did you all help me out of the darkness !
I still have a longer way to go, but I am confident that I will make it, and that my life is something worthwhile and unique ! We should treat ourselves and our lives with respect and love !
I hope you wonderful friends have a MIRACULOUS 2009 !!!!
May it help us all to take the steps we need to take ! xxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I was especially moved by your list---'Kidney' friends and getting out of the 'drama' were very important for me (as you know).
I feel that this is a place of sharing...whether your marriage makes it or not. There is a reason why we are all here...and believe it or not...it will not last forever unless you want it to.
I think the newer people on the board need to know that the sun will rise tomorrow and the storm does not last forever. Along the way you hope to learn about yourself for YOU. I know I have. Your words, Fanny's words, Lissett's words and countless others have helped me to move on.
I hope that everyone sees this thread for what it is...and not make it what it is not. There will be some whose marriages will be restored, and I tip my hat to you all...I wish you the best. My marriage was not restored and I am not sure that it ever should have been. I think my situation was such that it could never have been repaired because so much damage was done and he was a narcissist, not even an MLCer really....just a man behaving badly because that was what drove him and got him what HE wanted.
So, now that I have made that realization, I am free to move on with the rest of my life...and I am glad for that.
Once again, thank you for your invaluable insight...I could have never made it this far without it...or my kidney friends!
Love you! Valentine
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Hey, Cinders, thank you for the lovely post and good wishes.
I have to tell you that I have followed along with you the whole time I have been away and you were one of the people who inspired me to come back. I so loved your post about your recent epiphany about your H, and thought that was such a valuable thing for you to share with folks here. I have admired how much you have grown. It is an incredible thing how far you have come, how far all of us have come.
But you are right, we still have a long way to go...I read something recently that described striving to find grace and forgiveness as a life long journey. I love the idea of that. That I have the opportunity to continue to work at it, to continue to seek it. And I am comforted in the knowledge that I will always have help along the way.
Best wishes to you, Cinders, for a wonderful new year! besos, BmfA
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Thanks so much for stopping by. Your first post on this thread is very inspiring. I'm not there yet - a small part of me still wants H back, but it's getting smaller everyday and I realize now if it even becomes a reality, he'll have to court me all over again - much like he did when he was 22.
I'm from the south too, love sweet tea, barbeque, and Bull Durham is one of my favorite movies!
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
How terrific to see you here. Love the sound of your and son's travels. All my travels involve work these days. Back and forth to NYC once a month for work and assorted other work-related trips thrown in.
I head to Albuquerque for a conference in a couple of weeks, and it just so happens that's where Pedro is holed up these days. Stepson warned me that there was a "rare chance you might run into Pedro" (have noticed he no longer refers to his father as "dad" but calls him by his name. I find that sorta sad...) since he texted stepson that that's where he lives now. Yup, that's what I said, he sent his son a text message to let him know he had moved to another city, state, part of the country...
So you know, at least your ex TELLS your son things, maybe not in detail or timely, but, um, better than a TEXT.
Beyond that nonsense, I am good. Work is just crazy busy, but love being back "home" or close to home...love new friends, new church, and new life. Dogs seem happy too. No man in my life, and I don't particularly have the feeling that it's something I need or want right now, to tell you the truth. Only disjointed part of my life is that my horses are still in GA. Haven't bought a farm here, and haven't found a place to board yet, so I still have them with a friend there. Makes me feel incomplete, but know that will all sort itself out eventually, like everything else.
Hope this storm doesn't make a mess for you. Take care, Sugar, BA
Hi, Silver, thanks for visiting on my thread. Didn't even know I still had one, to tell the truth, until Peggy drug it up from the depths.
Anyway, thanks for the kind words about my post. Don't fret about where you are or aren't. It all comes in due time. And even then, there will be moments when you get angry, have regrets, feel sad...all of it. Still happens to me occasionally. That's just part of life and human emotion.
Shoulda known you were a Southern girl...that's where all that strength comes from.
