Having given birth 4 times, a new baby seriously kills any libido you may have had before. Especially if she's nursing. Her hormones are not back to normal. Her testosterone is way low, her bodies way of ensuring that she doesn't get pregnant while still taking care of this demanding baby.
If I were you, I'd completely drop the sex issue. I'd focus on pampering her. I'd focus on anticipating her needs. I guarantee you if you are attentive, affectionate, hugs & shoulder touches only, & if you take the baby in the evening & let her unwind for a bit, she'll be getting sexy thoughts much faster. Could she take a power nap when you get home ?? I'm sure she's completely utterly exhausted. It's not that her attraction to you is any different. The fact that she enjoys it once you guys get there, I'm positive it's just that she's sooooooo exhausted.
Try some snuggling with no pushing for sex. Be patient. Be loving. She'll come around.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
