I really like the way you put this. "I think he WANTS to want me". That sums up perfectly how I see my wife. I've come to see that it's impossible for our spouses to get to the point where they really do want us as long as the OP is in the picture. Everyone here has told me as much, and based on what I see and hear at home, I believe it.
I to am not a model DBer. My wife's EA really started Jan or FEB of 2008, and despite what she's said, has been going on ever since. With respect to the two schools of thought here, zero tolerance vs: outlast the OP, I too am leaning toward the zero tolerance option. My self respect is pretty much in tatters for having let things go as far as they have. It's really a matter of personal choice and what you think will work in your personal situation, I guess. I go round and round and see nothing left to loose in my case.
I'm updating my thread tomorrow hopefully w/ all the details and a plea for advise. If you get the time, I'd like to hear you thoughts.
