I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I'm glad to hear that you had fun in NYC. I have always put my H first as well and am just now starting to understand how it is to put myself first. It is giving me a sense of control over how I feel. I still get emotional and have moments of panic, but I have decided that if I can't take care of myself, how am I supposed to take proper care of my kids. Right now it is my H who is emotional and crying, and for once I am the strong one.
I think our S's have come to depend on us being needy for attention and love, and will be incredibly shocked to learn that we no longer need to get that only from them. Respect is a huge factor. So you hang in there, keep your chin up, GAL, and take care of you D. That way regardless of what happens with your W, you are stronger, healthier, and happier, and also know that you did the best that you could do.
