....If her whole life is about OM and she is in love with him and he is in love with her then why is she miserable?....
To which you wrote, "Well, if she's anything like my W, and virtually every situation you describe sounds exactly the same, the two of them must own a hell of a lot of stock in Tums Antacids, mine was/is eating half a damn bottle of things daily. Why? Well, if what my W says now is true, that she misses me and thinks of me daily, then it's because she knows what she's doing is wrong and that deep down inside, her reasons to justify her actions are not valid. "
OR-----What if she sees you in a new light? Aren't you a different man than the one she left? Is this about her being "wrong", or you two having a future together? IF it's the latter, remember you will never be able to bring OM up, not "well later on..." never. IF you are going to forgive her, you have to let it go. AND you have to own up to whatever your part in the problems were. Hence the phrase, "Keep the Road Home, Paved and Smooth."
It'll be harder for her to come back, than you realize. The more others see OM, and the more negative feedback she gets about him, the more defensive she'll become.
You are right to bite your tongue. Keep up the DBing, it's working. J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
