I am trying to decide if I should "go dark" however one does that when you are sleeping in the same bed and she is cooking diner, washing clothes, paying bills, doing taxes, and managing my IRAs.
Tomorrow night I will find out if we will still be in the same bed.
I went back to bed around 6 am this morning and found out that the audio from the Marriage Breakthrough Seminar woke her up around 5:30. I asked her if she had any dreams and she said she had one about celebrating Christmas. She said that was funny because last night was suppose to be what will happen in September. She did not say if I was in her dream and I did not ask.
She asked me what I was listening to and I told her about a few highlights. She did not ask more about them. I was extremely cold and shivering at times. After she asked if I had been downstairs in light clothing and I had informed her I was warm before and that my side of the bed was cold. She offered to switch sides. I said I would warm up my side and I hope I thanked her for the offer.
She got up and I went to sleep and got out of bed around noon. She has seemed much happier since I have stopped touching her. We have been laughing some and she was humming as she cooked diner tonight.
Overall it has been a pleasant day today.
I wonder if I have read more into where she is at today and her only real problem is about physical touch. I believe for here to start solving that problem it will take therapy. I think that would be very hard for her. That is why my gut tells me to be a friend and not to go dark.
One note that I don't think I have mentioned is that on the Tuesday before Christmas I said I was going to deposit a check and to drop off some recycling. That should have taken me an hour and a half. I had checked with everyone and none had any plans for that afternoon. Well I also went to a bookstore and to a movie (Spent like 15$ for a book and a movie). That added another 2 hours to the time I was gone. It wasn't the type of movie my wife and kids normally would go see. Before I got married I use to go to a lot of movies. I figured this could be a short escape and part of GAL. Part of me wanted to see if I would be missed. I enjoyed the movie but was anxious to get home and maybe felt a little guilty for what I had done.
Well my W noticed. Later that night she mentioned something about me not considering the family. I wanted to reply with "and you want to D? How will that affect the family". I did not which was good but I did not say something to validate her feelings.
I need to get back to the family for out last night together this holiday.
