Hi Jay, I know that when I was in my EA that the last thing I wanted was my H even sitting in the same room with me! I was so unattached to him! Of course, we had not been intimate in years. So, for him to suddenly start showing signs of affection made me behave like a mad dog (almost) ready to escape a cage.
You asked why she would not just come out and tell you when she didn't have a problems before if she didn't want any romance or to ML. I'm not sure if the "before" you speak of is before you were having problems, but if so, she probably had no guilt feelings and had a legimate reason for not wanting to ML at that time. In spite of what she has done, most women (notice, I said most) still do not want to see had badly she can hurt her H. She doesn't really want the romantic moves, but will tolerate you holding her b/c she knows that for most men to tell them "no" would hurt their male ego b/c they see it as rejection even though it was not sex related, it wasstill their personal touch. So, I think lots of women allow things to go as far as they do with their H's b/c they do still care about them, but as they say, they don't feel "in-love" with them. It is when that boundary is continually crossed or pushed until the wife can't take anymore that she starts either acting like a real b*tch or leaves. The guilt of an EA is big time. Mine was all by Internet and I never met him in person. Never kissed his lips or felt his touch. I cannot imagaine what it is like for the person that experiences that and the guilt they suffer.
I know you are going through hell on earth and I hate that for you, so badly. I was not sure what you meant by that quote I refered to in the last post about the LRT and something else. Could you explain it?
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
