Making my own good karma!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Thank you, GG & WIT, for the kudos.

And I agree that we all need to reclaim our own "feminine power". (Yea Estrogen!! )

I am going to do my best to slam that freakin' door between my brain and my mouth!! Those hinges are so rusty and stuck that it really is not an easy thing for me to do!

I'm relaxing today and not accomplishing a thing. I just ate some fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy (I don't even want to think about those calories). It was decadent and delicious and I'll worry about it tomorrow.....but for now I'm content!

H called me this morning asking me to look up the weather in the pass for his drive home from the ranch tomorrow, and to tell me about how he has spent all day snowblowing. I know he used to call his "assistant" and "best friend" (aka OW ) for this type of stuff......yep, I know, analyzing again.....I gotta stop trying to make something out of nothing!!

On another note, when I came down to my computer, my S17 had been on it last night apparently and the dummy left his my space up. Our C has been voicing some concerns for S17, but not been too specific because of confidentiality. So, perhaps I shouldn't have looked, but being the concerned parent, I did.

Much of it was not news to me. S17 and I do talk, and all the kids nowadays (including the girls) seem to take sex as nothing but light recreation. I have always tried to instill respect for women to my S, and he has girls calling ALL the time. There was one conversation with a girl on his mail where she referred to S cheating on her when they were dating. This bugged me very much for obvious reasons. But there was a zillion other postings from girls about how much of a sweet guy S is.....so, I guess I have to let that one go.....what could I do about it anyway. I have already had numerous talks about the safe sex issue with S17 and so has H.

What I found to really concern me is that:

1. S17 seems to be doing more drinking than he has confessed to. [This is very concerning because alcohol abuse runs in my family.]
2. I knew, because he told me, that S had "tried weed", but apparently he has also bought it (once?) for his "friends"!!! That is a felony!!!
3. S17 had told us that he is into this thing called "juggalos". It appears to be a sort of "wanna be" or "pseudo" gang type thing that was started around some band called "Insane clown posse". I have done some research on this since S mentioned it, and have found that, while juggalos supposedly claim not to be a gang or gang related, there have been some problems with gang type behavior from people related to this group. H and I have talked at length with S about gangs.
4. On S17 comments board there were several postings from friends asking about S "red raggin'" and asking if he was a "blood" and if he wasn't he better "change that for his safety", and that if "pissed off the wrong Crab" they would "kill his a**". [If I am not mistaken, this is referring to my S17 probably wearing a red bandana, which is a sign of being a "blood" gang member (and S17 knows this and was doing it just for "kicks"), and if you wear one and aren't one, then those in gangs don't like it and may kill you.] This crap scares the bejeebers out of me! I could not see what comments my S17 had posted to receive these responses. But, the last post from this person told my S17 "That's a smart choice!", so I'm hoping that S17 has taken this "friends" advise and stopped this behavior.

So, I was going to talk to H about about this. I left a message on the ranch's machine when I called to give him the weather info he asked for. But, I'm a little afraid to because H has been known to go off the deep end and part of S17 issues and why he is doing this type of stuff is his anger at H and his feelings that he doesn not live up to H's expectations (and that fact that H doesn't practice what he preaches). But this is our son and I think it's important that we stay connected on what's going on with S.

And I'm not sure how/if I/we should talk to S about this. He'll be mad about my "snooping" but then HE left the site up on MY machine (the dummy). We've alread talked to him at length about safe sex, and drugs, and gangs, and drinking. I'm not sure what good would come of telling S what we know and re-iterating what we have already told him......

Any advice on this one??