Jeff, Glad to hear that your session with Jody went well. ADHD people are a bit different in how they look at the world. You have to remember that their brains have a few wires that do not fire correctly and their world is chaos. They can't focus on anything for any length of time.
Keep the positive juices flowing!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ya, boy did she give me some incite!! One of the pieces of advice she gave me was that I shouldn't go dark and to match her contact. She said that "you wouldn't get mad at your wife if she couldn't walk because of MS so treat the ADHD the same. It's not her personality, thats just the way she is wired." It certainly caused me to reflect on how I responded to her and my part in her not getting what she needed. I only hope now that armed with this info I can continue the journey back to affection and romance.
I am also going to read everything I can about the subject!
Cheers, Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
When she was describing behavior of an ADHD person I could recall events that were identical to what she was describing and I also could imagine a different and more positive response. I am excited to give it a go!
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
Take it slowly and definitely read up on ADHD. If she shies away, step back and allow her to come to you. Follow her lead.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just a bit down I guess I got too excited about the coach and all of the positive stuff. We are still very friendly but it feels like she forgot all of the stuff she told me. Over the past couple of days we had some positive stuff even talked about how we need to be friends. Tonight we ate dinner together she thanked me, but she mentioned that she had to pick something up at OM's an accessory for the indoor bicycle trainer he lent her. I just acted as if it was nothing. next thing I know she says she is going to have a drink at the bar but doesn't say with who! My mind is in over drive and I know and I shouldn't give it any energy but it is really hard not to get freaked out. I didn't show her a reaction,she thanked me for dinner on the way out I said see ya (in a positive voice).
This should be expected and I guess I need to back off a bit, I only hope that nothing happens but I guess I can't control it. I have to remember all of the positive stuff.
Cheers
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
I feel your pain man. This is the crazy part to all of this. I think backing off a touch is not a bad idea. Same thing with me. One day everything is good and the next they are totally different. All a part of the craziness. I know we are not suppose to have expectations either way, but this always seems to happen. I just get so impatient with all of it.(I don't show her that though) I'm hanging in there with ya!
I think we are both in the same boat. We are Human and even though I can handle it most days, today I am tired. The rollercoaster is exhausting. It would be nice to see some lasting changes I like how it feels. I am going to back off and still pray alot. Its tough with her in the house.
I have to take the positives, ie. we ate dinner together and she appreciated me having it ready when she got home. I could tell her mind was elsewhere, but we were suppsoed to plan a fun thing each to do. I suggested cooking classes because there are at least 10 people per class, but she said no so I backed off that.
Anyway we will see what today brings.
jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
thanks for the positive vibes I do know that I am better than !#@%$# OM but last night it was tough to see her get all dressed up on a monday night and go out she didn't say who she was going with but it points to Om because of the earlier comment. Its hard because she told me that she had been running from her issues and that the relationship turned out to be something different.
I could be wrong and hope I am but I got a weird feeling .
I will hang in there we shall see
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
