MWG I think like Snodderly that your h is in severe depression, similar to my h. He is not going to look for a job right now, nor is your online business going to appeal to him.
He is in a dark place. I do remember my h describing his life prior to getting a job to our C. It sounded so horribly depressing.
All you can do is encourage your h and be kind. He will have to do the work when he is ready.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Happy New Year MWG, I wish for you that your H will return in 2009! It might not be so quick, but I do hope by New Year's Eve 2009 your H and your family will be one and happy again. Take care.
Actually, he is quite gung ho about starting an online type business. He is the one who got me thinking about it and he really wants to do it but has yet to begin!
I would say in this respect, he is very interested in what I am doing online but as always, lacks motivation to even begin anything. He has no intention of going back to work and working for someone else. This he is very adamant about.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG, In the long run, this could be very good as it is all a lot of change. Perhaps he woudl feel better about himself running his own business, and would have some hope.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
bre: this is true and when he talks about it, he is very upbeat. now getting him over here and on the computer is a different matter.
when he comes over he just sits out back most of the time.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
My h appears to be a no show today. This is rare for him. He did not call any of us so who knows.........
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
M, I think your h is in the hole with the dark depression. He's having to do some serious thinking about the situation and he's not going to contact you for a day or so.
He's had a lot to ponder over this holiday, i.e., the holiday, gifts, money, the car, etc. He now has to either contact his father or do something about finding a job. He's at the bottom of the barrel and he now has to figure out how to climb out.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Did I tell you that after he left on New Years I sent him a text which basically said that it is very difficult to see him leave to be with someone else yet at the same time telling me he loves me? I said that the kids and I do not want him coming over here for a few hours at a time, that we would like to see him at home all the time.
I was gentle, yet shared my true feelings.
I am okay--doing my own thing here.
Last edited by MidwesternGirl; 01/04/0901:16 AM.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
M, I think your h is being a mushroom right now and that is sitting in the apartment and thinking/sleeping. He's got a lot to digest and figure out how to repair.
He's a big boy and he's right at that stage where you can address your true feelings w/him. I don't see any harm in what you told him...it was the truth. Now, let's see what he does w/that.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
