Well...kind of a bummer of a day for me...my baby boy isn't feeling well - he started to seem sick yesterday - so I thought it might be best for him to spend the day with his mom...since nursing seems to comfort him while he's under the weather...She seemed surprised when I suggested he spend the day with her - but it just felt right to me that he feel better. I had planned on going to a park with the boys today, and meeting up with a friend of mine, his wife and their son - but the plans have changed.
It was odd when I called my W this morning to ask about my baby boy - she was distant and cold at first - seemed offended as always when I asked how she was doing...and so I just shifted the conversation to my baby boy and how he was feeling. That seemed to soften her up a bit...and so I just asked her a few more questions about him and his symptoms. She asked me if had had a busy day planned, and that's why I thought he should stay with her - I said, no, just that I was going to a park with him and some other friends - but that it would be best for him to get some rest.
My S11 was disappointed - he loves seeing his little brother - so I'm going to have to make sure we get out and do something fun today - something to keep him happy and engaged. I did ask my W to let me know if my baby started feeling better today - and if so, if she wouldn't mind bringing him by for just a couple hours...for the boys to play...we'll see what happens...I'm not expecting her to do...but I didn't see anything wrong in suggesting it.
This morning I started wondering if the bitterness of yesterday had something to do with the glimpse of her that I caught in her eyes the day before - like maybe she felt something she just didn't want to feel - or wasn't ready to feel - and so she had to pull away again - and replace those emotions with anger...I know it's useless for me to think about these things...and I'm not really going that deeply into it - it just occurred to me as part of a pattern I may have noticed - in that whenever she opened up just a little bit (before she moved out) she would follow it up with more anger and distance. Then again...maybe she's just angry about something that has nothing to do with me - and just can't resist throwing it my way. Either way - my response is the same - to be happy and positive - since no matter where it's coming from - it's not my anger or bitterness - it's hers. Time to go and make the most of my day...
