For the Guy with Kids and a WW Twenty Two

[hopeful4her]

D7 came to my room after I had put her down to sleep.

She was telling me that she missed her mom. I took her back to bed and we talked about it being okay to miss her. I assured her that she could call her mom in the morning if she wanted. She starts to tell me that when she is with me, she misses her mom and that when she is with her mom, she misses me.

Poor thing. We talk a little bit about it and I let her know that we have to be strong and that its okay to miss us. I tell her that I'm sorry that things have to be the way they are, but that we have to get used to it being different. At one point, she asked why mom had to move. I told her that she just wants to try to do things on her own. She asked what if mom wanted to move back home and I told her that that probably wasn't going to happen anymore.

"But what IF, daddy?"

I repeated what I said and just told her that her mom and I loved her very much and that we have to just adjust. At some point, I told her that moms feelings changed for me and that she thinks that someone else was better than me and that there's nothing that I can do about that. She asked about who. I didn't directly answer her right then, but I did tell her that if she was not happy, that she needed to let us, specifically her mom, know that she was not happy about something. Anything.

"Mom thinks that everyone is so happy and fine the way they are. Are you happy with us living like this?"
"No"
"Then you need to let mom know sometimes. Its okay to tell her that you don't like living this way. She needs to be reminded sometimes. Its okay to tell her, or me, when you don't like what she is doing."
"But you do it different. Its like, when you do it.....its easier."
"Thats because I love you more than anything in the world and I would not hurt you. Mom is not doing the right things right now, I don't think, but I can't control her. And I still don't think she should have a boyfriend."
"Who?"
"You know who."
"Momma says that they are just friends."
"Yeah, thats what mom says."

I reminded her that if she is not happy or that when mom talks to her, be honest. I reminded her of the time that her mom and I had our last conversation last Monday. That I know that Tom had gone over and that later in the night, she and her mom were talking. D7 was acting upset and the wife was asking her if she was missing me, or if she was upset about Tom being there.

D7 said that she just shrugs her shoulder and shakes her head when they have those talks. Thats when she was telling me about me being easier to talk to.

"She does it different" she says.
"Thats because mom wants to keep thinking that her way is best. Sometimes mommys and daddys think selfish and they only care about themselves. That as long as THEY are happy, then thats all that matters."
She asks, "Do YOU know anyone who is selfish?"

"Oh yeah, I do."

I also mentioned that I can't take care of mom anymore. She asked why and I told her that mom wants to do things on her own now, but that I still loved her and that all my focus goes on to her and her sister and her brother, as far as I was concerned.

My poor little baby.