M, I'm so sorry about the feelings you are dealing w/when he leaves. It's hard when he's come so far and can't manage to lift a leg up over the threshold and cross over the sill and come home. He's really right there, but is paralyzed at the moment.
I tend to agree w/you...he'll come home before he'll contact his father. It's a shame that things are the way they are between them, but I can understand his father's point of view.
Please take care of yourself. Try to get some rest this weekend. You've had a stressful couple of days, i.e., the car, etc.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I have been immersed in my little side job online. When I get upset when H leaves, it lasts for a few minutes and then I am okay. I have re-focused a lot of energy into what I am trying to accomplish for myself.
H sees what I am doing which is a good thing.
I hope you are right, that he is right there, almost ready to make that step home. And I am so close to the situation that even I can't see the forest from the trees at times.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I am furious right now and not at my h but two of my kids who do not admit what they just did.
I came to my computer to find someone has spilled liquid underneath the main tower, and where the opening is to the floppy and cd drives!!
and the floor is all wet like crazy.
they make me so darned mad and guess what--they are freaking grounded.
okay--i am glad i got to vent here.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Vent away!! I sure hope your computer will be all right!! I know what a hassle that is when the computer is down & especially something that could have been prevented.
Maybe everything will be fine, I know this is not what you need right now as you are moving forward with the on-line business.
Did not hear from h at all yesterday but that is okay because I was so consumed with my own little things I have been doing.
I am sure he will be here today though.
My dad called me out of the blue yesterday wanting to know if he could help with my car repairs and I told him thanks but no thanks. I explained that there has been so much wear and tear on the car that someone else, if they really want to keep using it, will have to pay for some of it-whatever the priority repair is at the moment.
I explained to him my new venture and since he has no computer and internet, he really has no idea what is out there and how one can succeed just by doing some simple things.
Right now I am just really psyched about it. You would think it would motivate my h to do something but it doesn't.
I asked him what his goals were with regard to a job. He said he does not want to work for anybody else. Maybe deep down he does see what I am doing and that it works but but he is not trying it.
I suggested that maybe he could come over a few days out of the week and just get on the computer. He said maybe....
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
M, Glad to hear that your computer is okay. I wonder why they didn't attempt to clean up the mess? It would have been better had they done that...rather than you discovering it.
I'm glad your father called. It's nice to know that he's there to assist if you need him. I don't blame you....your son will need to cough up some $$$ to assist in the repairs since he's been the one putting most of the miles on it. I'm sure he's not been driving it the way you or your h would have either.
M, to be honest w/you, your h is very depressed and I don't think he's even ready to move out on a job right now. It's an effort to get up in the morning and to even think for him right now. He needs to be seeing a doctor about the depression, but he's got to be the one to do that. I wish I could be more positive about him right now, but that dark depression has him.
You sound great and excited about your new venture. I'm sure it will be a huge success.
Enjoy your day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H has never been a morning person and does not get going until the afternoons, so to speak.
This week was the exception--being here by 10AM but any other time, very late afternoons. I used to think that he and ow were probably enjoying romantic times because of that-ha ha.
He was never one to get motivated about going to a job every morning so this really should not surprise me.
He eats very little.
One of the kids commented to him the other day that he does not eat very much. I asked him about it and he said he will eat cereal and fruit for breakfast, and eat maybe a sandwich for lunch and only eat when he feels hungry. Said he does not eat nearly as much as he used to.
The kids had gift certs. to a fast food place and she treated h and all he got was a burger. He insisted on paying her back so he gave her a few dollars. SHe was surprised at how little he ate.
New Years Eve when he left I told him not to drink too much and he said he only drinks a few beers at night now and I was like, just a few...I wasn't sarcastic, just surprised and he was like yeah. Not sure I believe that.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
It is definitely that dark depression he's experiencing. It was an effort for him to be up and ready to go at that time of the morning, but he knew you and your son had to be at work. I think he must sleep a large majority of his time.
The desire to eat is another sign too. They tend to eat very little and I think he's being honest w/you about the drinking too. It's an effort for them to do much of anything.
It's really sad that he can't get himself motivated and into a doctor's office. The AD's would help level his mood off and maybe help lift the fog just a bit.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
to think he might be paralyzed in a rut and over there all this year is depressing to me!
he did say he hopes good things happen in the new year and i have a feeling we were on the same page with regard to what each of us was thinking.
my gut says he will be back this year.
God is in control.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
