"you can't fight biology" This has been kicking around in my head all day, and probably gets the award for "Stupidest Thing I've Heard All Week". Well, I have heard "you can't fight biology" from BB for 5-10 maybe 15 years.
Edited to add: The angst is directed at people (male or female) who blame their "biology" and use that as a shield to hide behind, making no efforts to change. So what does a HD spouse do when the LD spouse would rather sleep or pet the dogs?
So -- especially when people are aware of how much this particular function of "biology" means to their mate -- My mate, BB is aware, but only occasionally motivated. I can push the issue but that is not always enjoyable.
I really wish they would quit using this lamest of excuses ... Me too but to them the excuse is valid. No logic will convince most of the LD's other wise.
People who struggle to reclaim their sexual desire and/or function or, in its continuing absence, do all they can to meet their loved one's needs as well as possible with generosity and integrity .... they have my utmost respect. Mine too.
Anyone who has ever............is fighting biology Those are some very good points Kettricken.
I suggest you print out the following and give it to her
Part of me actually thinks that this would be an excellent thing for me to do, too. Mind you, the other part of me thinks I'd get a big old slap across the chops.
I think I might give her your letter and then escape for a weekend with the kiddos to give her some space to read through this place.
Thanks for all the input, comments, and suggestions. I was somewhat worried about the whole domain name and idea of anything to do with the word "divorce" but then I thought about it and the whole point is to avoid that! So that is what I am doing - looking for help before it ever gets to that point.
haphazard - Awesome stuff. I am likely going to send her a link to join today.
DIY - I think she takes it more seriously after a few recent talks. I am going to bring the whole thing up again at our next appointment though and get any new or different input from our doctor. I guess the only reason I have considered my drive "high" is that hers is lower. Maybe mine is normal and hers is not. Maybe hers is there and she just doesn't know it. We shall find out though! Just reading what people responded with here gave my confidence a little increase. I am not ready to just be as I once was but at least I am not considering the eunuch route today.
Kettricken - I mostly agree with you that it is a "shield". I was going to post something to you about "don't call my wife stupid!" but you did generalize that a little bit in your edit.
Originally Posted By: shmagic
Reading about how both men and women feel and behave is a real eye opener.
Don't ignore this problem because you love your wife or 20 years from now you could easily be one of the divorce statistics.
I am going to send her an email and ask her about joining today.
Thanks for the understanding, PROxac. It wasn't until later that it occurred to me that what I wrote about stupidity might be taken personally, whereas I intended it generally. Every brilliant person has "stupid spots"; I'm riddled with them myself. Diagnosis is the first step toward a cure.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
