Hi FLTC, her treating me civily is actually not "unsettling" because I don't expect anything from her. If she's civil and pleasant then I'm happy but I don't expect that it will or will not continue, it doesn't matter. Certainly, it's best for our family if she and I get along as best we can but what is is and what isn't isn't! I've let go of hope and that's kinda freeing I've concluded that my STBX was severely emotionally deprived as a child and just has no concept of what is too much to expect from someone else. She's just an emotional pit that can only be filled until the hole deepens somehow. You can never fill such a hole for very long, as I well know! The only way for her to put herself back on track is to take responsibility for her emotional well being rather than look to others to fill that emotional void. I can't do that and neither can OP, but the kicker is that I don't have to try anymore! If I think something I can do will help, I will do so otherwise I'm not worrying about her and her well being UNLESS it's affecting my kids, now that's where the unsettled feeling may come into play, not in regards to my expectations or hopes regarding her or our R. Make sense? Happy New Year, FLTC!!!!
I've concluded that my STBX was severely emotionally deprived as a child and just has no concept of what is too much to expect from someone else. She's just an emotional pit that can only be filled until the hole deepens somehow. You can never fill such a hole for very long, as I well know! The only way for her to put herself back on track is to take responsibility for her emotional well being rather than look to others to fill that emotional void. I can't do that and neither can OP, but the kicker is that I don't have to try anymore! If I think something I can do will help, I will do so otherwise I'm not worrying about her and her well being UNLESS it's affecting my kids, now that's where the unsettled feeling may come into play, not in regards to my expectations or hopes regarding her or our R. Make sense?