Just discovered w. had an affair. Devastated.

[K4D]

I know exactly how you feel. I caught my wife seeing someone and she told me that I broke her trust by looking at her text messages on her cell phone after she had been acting very suspicious. Had she not been acting extremely suspicious all of a sudden, I never would have even thought to look at her cell phone. She was seeing someone and I broke the trust? Divorce and everything that can come with it suck. There is really no other way to describe it when you are the one that is trying to keep the marriage together and you keep running up against a brick wall that keeps firing spiked bricks back at you.
Have faith in God that whatever his will is will ultimately be what is best for us even though we may not know what those reasons are at this time. Its what is helping me every time my wife does something more to hurt me as we get closer to her filing for divorce and not being around. Its hard I know, but do the best that you can. Try to put it out of your mind. Easier said than done. But thats where you have to rely on your faith and hand it over to God. Try focusing on your work, or on some kind of hobby. Hang out with friends who are understanding of your situation. Try not to dwell on it or it will eat you alive. I know because it does me when I dwell on it. I hear divorce support groups are very good. Although I haven't gone to one yet since my wife is waiting til February 1st to file, I have been told by others that they can really help. My wife lies to me to and I never know what to believe. If you have kids, try and put your focus and efforts into them. They will need you. I know mine do. As I go through this, I am finally learning how to appreciate my kids even more than I ever did before. You definitely need to spend time with people though. Being alone if you are anything like me will just further depress you. Even when you don't want to be around anyone else, do it anyways. I am having to force myself to do that so I don't go insane with depression.

I wish you the very best and I know that with time, this to will pass. Thats what a coworker of mine keeps telling me at work. I never want to hear it when he says it, but I know its true. Its just not something you want to hear when you are in the middle of it.

My wife is caught up in money to. I passed on a job to her that paid twice what either of us were making and it has gone to her head. Now she is looking at other guys that make more money and spending hers like crazy. Had I known at all she would use it to leave me, I would never have passed it onto her. I am amazed at how money can change some people. Some people just cannot resist letting it go to their head.

Kevin