Maybe I should be in piecing part 5?

[sandi2]

Well, let the "Ice Virgin" give you the answer......LOL. I think that was probably my nickname in school b/c I wouldn't "put out". Just kidding, I don't want to know what they may have called me behind my back. Anyway, H4H, make her work for it a little more, but don't ignore her completely. Give her a little bit of encouragement. I'll explain as I blow off a little steam here........and no, it's not sexual steam....well, maybe it is....who knows?

Does it have to be sex or nothing at all with you guys? Where is the teasing and the playfulness? Where is the kissing and the nibbling and careesing.....and, well, you know? Why does it have to be "I need to know if this is going to give me intercourse or not, babe? Cause if not, count me out!" It is almost as if some people (not all) have forgotten the basic points of courship and one of the main things in a MR is that the courtship does not stop!!

Even if you sit her down and talk to her at this point in time....it may not be as good of an outcome (even if she is in a good mood) as it would be if you were TO PUT HER IN THE MOOD, if you get my meaning. If you know her LL, then do that to start with. But, if it has been a long time since the two of you had sex, you've got to work up to it a little bit....probably in stages.

Maybe things are different now, but as I recall on the first date, you at least went somewhere, or maybe even bought her dinner instead of just driving straight for a motel. Why should you treat her differently b/c you are M to her? Oh, that's it, isn't it........you are MARRIED to her. Okay.

The way some women are today, I can't answer for all of them, and the movies have given society such an incorrect viewpoint of how things are in reality, until the different sexes don't even know what they are suppose to do anymore. I was shocked to realize that some men think that women actually are like some of those stupid movies protray.....and if there are some, indeed, like that.....then God have mercy on us all. I hate to think what future generations will be like.

But, the way I see it, is if your W has been on the couch and it has been quite a while since having sex.......then remember that women are like crockpots and men are like microwave ovens. A lot of women can't just go from no sex at all for months at a time to jumping on you and saying, "Let me have it big boy!" Maybe a few can, but I still think Hollywood has a lot of men really messed up regarding the truth about the majority of women.

Anyway, she was giving you signals and she was probably shocked the first night and then disappointed the second night that her sexy appearance, alone, did not do the trick, as I am sure it probably has in the past. As you said, she worked a long time on how she presented herself to you.....and this was New Years? Hummmm......maybe she was thinking of starting the new year off right? Just a thought.

I would suggest that you don't continue very long, to just leave the room with her sitting there "cold" and feeling completely like a loser, or she could go to someone that would welcome her affections ......since she has been in somewhat of a battle of confusion over what she is going to do. (And I'm not saying she is, b/c I don't know.) But, I would suggest that you do not let her go without a small reaction of some sort......at least a flirty smile, and then say, "I'm going to bed", and look back at her as you leave the room. Just that much could be rather "sugestive". But, I still think if the "setting" was right....say like the two of you were on the couch watching a movie and you started flirting or acting playful with her, (playfulness can end up in tickling and that can end up in some interesting....positions that can end up in kissing which can end up....well, you get the picture).

In a lot of women's minds, what she did was intiating. It would have been for me! It may have been very hard for her to do that, since things have been strained between the two of you. I can imagine how I would have felt, but hopefully, she likes a challenge. I'm glad you did not give in and dive right for the intercourse, but don't push your luck too far. Just let her work for it....but give her tidbits of rewards for her work. That way, she will be encouraged and she'll know that there might still be a chance, but you won't come across as being as "easy" as you might have been in the past. And, if/when she really does intiate having sex, and you are sure that's what she is doing, this time.....for God's sake, don't reject her then or you will never get another chance. I think I can almost promise you that!

Married life has not caused you to forget how to flirt, has it? Do you remember how to work up to the point of getting her into the bedroom? Why do some H's think that stops after M? Somebody mentioned the chase????? Let me tell you, I never cased a boy or a man my entire life! He chased me and that is what gets my blood boiling to think that females are doing the chasing these days like the men use to do. And, now, the men think that is what females are suppose to do! People are so screwed up about the roles they should have that nobody knows what the heck they are suppose to do.

I know this isn't about me, but I am curious about something. The minute I got M, it was as if my H thought he should sit on his a$$ and I should act like a whore in the bedroom. Why? I did not act like a whore before we were M! I was a young lady. I was very much a vigin in every sense of the word when we got M. It's not that I thought I was suppose to continue to act like a virgin that didn't know what sex was.......but to go from one extreme to the other?

Just b/c he chased me until I caught him (as the old saying goes) before we got M, why would he think things should stop....or be turned around or whatever it is "some" men think? Do all men think that way? Does everyone think their wife should suddenly do all the pursuing when she did none of it before M?

Okay, so we may be getting off the subject a bit, but I'm on a roll (no pun intended). So.....back to my quesions, I have read where so many of the H's would say they were tired of intiating sex and was going to wait for the wife or else there would be no more sex. Excuse me, but I was taught that that was the role of the man.......he WAS the initiator--my nature! What happen? Where did this get so messed up?

I have not had that question answered by anyone yet, so I thought maybe some of you men could do that for me.

Oh, and H4H, I am not fussing at you. God knows that you poor men don't have a clue anymore as to what to think about women! And, like I said, things have changed a lot, and I realize that, but I am still a strong believer in the intial natural behavior that God put in the man and in the woman. He made man the natural one to intiate sex and the woman the natural "responder" to her husband's sexual advances.....and that, my friends, is what is meant by God making a woman's desire be unto her husband. And, yes, it is part of our punishment for what Eve did....blast her anyway!! I'm sure I don't have to tell you what the other part of that punishment is.

BTW, did you hear the one where Adam asked God, "Why did You make Eve so beautiful", and God said so that Adam could love her. Then Adam asked God, "But, God, why did You make her so sweet", and God said so Adam could love her. Finally, Adam had one more question and he said, "But God, why did you make Eve so dumb?" And, God answered Adam and said, "So Eve could love you, Adam!"

Just a little humor there guys!

Sandi