When I Look At The Stars

[ernest88]

I would look for someone who can/will meet you 1/2 way. If MHS38 went with the psycho ex, then she doesn't deserve the AWESOMENESS of the box of tampons that is you...

I'm so glad you're back..you just don't know how happy I am that you are back and posting..Your wit, snarkyness and humor is something I need right now..

I agree with all that all of you are saying and like I said I'm happy that i wallowed as it has allowed this discussion to take place..and it also let's me learn more about myself and other people..I HATE making the same mistakes over and over and feel like I get in that rut occasionally..

you guys are awesome..

[mishka422]

Awwwwww......shucks! If any of the rambling I have put here today has helped then I'm really glad.

You're the bestest Mike!

Again.....when are you going to bring Caleigh to the aquarium? I have a need to sit in front of the BIG TANK and be mesmerized for a while. She'd LOVE it too I'm sure!

[ernest88]

A lot of men, myself included enjoy the woman that we can provide for, the one that needs nurturing and attention, and the one's that can be "bad girls" when we want them to be.

I agree with that somewhat..I always wanted one who was slightly independent, who could think on her own but was smart enough to know when to let me help and nurture her and be bad when the time was right....the perfect woman IMO..she would have girl next door looks..sharp wit, smart, sexy..with what I described above..

Kim and Carrie for example.

we have to interject them into this??

see I never saw Kim as needing fixing..I saw her as what I described above with the exception of the "attached to mommies tit thing"..but I do see what you are saying and that may be the part of Kim that needs fixing..she may be stuck to her mom like a Kid instead of having an adult mother daughter relationship..that's the way I see it anyway..so I get what you are saying..

So, I think you and I need to find a nice, happy, minimal baggage, comfortable in her own way type of woman and then open up the opportunity for them to be bad bad girls as long as it is within the right context.....

What do you think?

I think you are correct..and very wise..and I'll forgive for for using Kim and Carrie as an example...LOL..and by the way..I think you just described the perfect woman and I don't know if perfect exist..so we may be SOL..

we have already determined we can't settle so I guess we keep dating and discarding until we find the "Holy Grail" .....maninmotion thread reference..

[sofaraway]

I think you just described the perfect woman and I don't know if perfect exist..so we may be SOL..

Speak for yourself my brother. The only imperfection thus far with Yakeline is the age difference and to be quite honest, it ain't bothering me buddy

[ernest88]

Speak for yourself my brother. The only imperfection thus far with Yakeline is the age difference and to be quite honest, it ain't bothering me buddy

age difference smage difference...big deal...Hell by brother is law is 12 years older than my sister and they been married 26 years..

it is what it is..

[sofaraway]

yep, like I said, the 15 years isn't bugging me or her one bit right now......

[BobbiJo]

OK I am throwing this out there, it's not my thread but you are analyzing "types" and you are men so you have insight--

Both women my H has had affairs with (one 6 weeks supposedly, one 14 months) were basically single moms. The first was an honest to goodness single mom (she was 39, H was 28!), divorced raising her kids. The second was a younger (late 20s) girl with a son who lived like a single mom while married and after her H found out about my H, she became a separated/divorced single mom....

One thing H praised about them both, as I look back at our discussions, was how they were both so strong and took care of everything themselves....it's like he sees it as a bad thing that I want/need(?) him to be involved in my life, to help with raising the kids, etc. etc.

Is that the 'anti-fixer?' He wants someone who needs nothing from him at all? Just curious...or is it saving them b/c they are doing it all with no help...

Thanks for letting me intrude!

[ernest88]

Is that the 'anti-fixer?' He wants someone who needs nothing from him at all?

in Dan's case I think that's it..I think Dan would just have kept up the status quo forever..it was almost like he had his life and you had yours and then you had one together just for the kids events..

[sofaraway]

BBJ, what you describe here is an unhealthy, detached husband who is simply not strong enough to "be there" for anyone else. It's not an attraction that these other women had, it's a lazy self centered, I want to not have to work for it attitude that made these others attractive. He only praises them out of selfishness, not out of respect.

So the question isn't should you change and be more in charge, the question is can Dan grow up and recognize what a real man and husband does for the woman he loves.....


Ian

[BobbiJo]

Thanks for the honesty and input guys. Appreciate it.

Mike, there has got to be a woman out there in your neck of the woods who knows who she is and what she wants. And who will live up to your completely reasonable expectations. It just may take time. And it sounds like, to be totally honest, you aren't ready for the BIG relationship yet anyway.

So do as you advise John210 to do...try it out, see what happens, if they turn out crazy, let em go...

Enjoy the weekend buddy.