Ugh, WP. I can't even begin to guess what to tell you. On the one hand, if you give her the way out, what all else will she milk you for and besides, why should YOU do that for HER??? Except for your own dang sanity, obviously.
As you know, I moved out (because I was stupid, but I won't go there, now). But even now, when I go "home", I still say "my bathroom" or "our room". I know dang good and well it's not "mine" anymore, but my name is still on the deed!!!! And I painted those rooms! And I laid that dang fake tile!!! And nobody helped me scrape the popcorn crud off the ceiling in that closet! And I was the one who put the closet system IN that closet. So yeah. I still kinda feel some ownership. Maybe partly because I want all of it back, too though.
There are no guarantees. And none of us can say for sure one way or the other no matter how bad we want to be able to do that for you...for all of us.
I'm sure Puppy will be by sooner or later. Sooner or later she is going to "fall" from OM. It's a matter of do you want to be there when she does? Do you think she'll be willing to do all the work it's going to take to start to put things back "right"? I didn't think I would be able to. It's part of why I left. But now, I don't care who I have to tell what I did to, it is worth WHATEVER to have our marriage and family back.
Good luck and I will pray for you.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
