So, if the feelings have been gone a long time, how often do they come back? And how often do they come back before the LBS has moved on? And how the F do you get them back? Million dollar question.
Yes, feelings are a funny thing and they can and do change. Most people just don't think they have control over them, and that feelings have control over them. And of course, "feelings" can lead us in illogical directions where we later think... how stupid was I???
Sometimes when someone feels depressed they will dwell in it, and just stay there, and sometimes they want to be there. Of course, hormones play a part in it as well, but there's also research showing that people can choose these feelings. That they can consciously change the way they see things. Sometimes it's a matter of action. If you act happy you'll feel more happy.
With long term love I think it's the same. All relationships go through good times, bad times, stale times... You can choose to see things more negative, or you can choose to see things positive. This is not something that happens quickly or overnight (and I get the feeling you would like a quick fix...).
So to live more positively one would act it. Reaserch shows that when people act happier they usually feel happier. So, if that's so the case, if you "act" loving and react in loving ways, feelings follow.
But I'm not sure you really want that. I think you've already decided to leave.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
