For the Guy with Kids and a WW Twenty Two

[whatdidido]

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack, and yep, what Puppy said (except the pinch hitting thing)>

[hopeful4her]

X20?

Okay, now your just being a dick

But your right.

Although, I don't think she misses a damn thing about me.

One night, while drinking with a good bud, he asked a group of us a long time ago...if I had to join the other team, what famous person would I be with.

I told him that it better be a BIG sombitch, like Schwartzenegger or Ferrigno, to be able to pin ME down

[hopeful4her]

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack, and yep, what Puppy said (except the pinch hitting thing)>

Welcome back to the jungle, girl.

Getting ready to take off to the movies with my girlies.
Talk at y'all later.

[InLikeFlynn]

Whats your 2009 year plan?

[karen43]

2. You're just way too damned nice and chatty with her. You are like Karen with her smiley faces, x 20. I'm sure she loves that about you, but you've also NEVER given her a chance to really MISS that about you.

Just an observation.

Puppy

OK, you insulted both of us! Nice! I have only given H about one smiley this past month or 2 and never will again!!! I've been kind of rude to him for the past 2 times I've seen him, and I have zero regrets about that. So maybe you should mention someone else??? I save all my smilies for you Pup, well and everyone else around here! Karen

[hopeful4her]

Yeah, can you believe the insult. He said I was 20 X worse than you.

I understand ya', pup. I have been trying to not call her, text her or email her anymore. And then when I do, I put too much into it.

Never got a response nor did she call since this afternoon. Not even to talk to D11. I wonder if she sits at her place and just stews, thinking that the girls are not calling her because they don't miss her. Her waiting for them to call her. It HAS been her to call to talk to them in the past.

I was the one waiting for them to call me when they are with her. I try not to call them, but then, if I don't hear from them, I feel bad. More like a pity party. Just makes me curious.


I forgot, when she was talking to D7 on New Years day, I heard her tell D7 'Happy New Years'. D7 says to her,

"Well, you could have told me last night."
The wife says, "I know, but I DID talk to you EARLIER in the day, right?"

WTF?

[hopeful4her]

D7 came to my room after I had put her down to sleep.

She was telling me that she missed her mom. I took her back to bed and we talked about it being okay to miss her. I assured her that she could call her mom in the morning if she wanted. She starts to tell me that when she is with me, she misses her mom and that when she is with her mom, she misses me.

Poor thing. We talk a little bit about it and I let her know that we have to be strong and that its okay to miss us. I tell her that I'm sorry that things have to be the way they are, but that we have to get used to it being different. At one point, she asked why mom had to move. I told her that she just wants to try to do things on her own. She asked what if mom wanted to move back home and I told her that that probably wasn't going to happen anymore.

"But what IF, daddy?"

I repeated what I said and just told her that her mom and I loved her very much and that we have to just adjust. At some point, I told her that moms feelings changed for me and that she thinks that someone else was better than me and that there's nothing that I can do about that. She asked about who. I didn't directly answer her right then, but I did tell her that if she was not happy, that she needed to let us, specifically her mom, know that she was not happy about something. Anything.

"Mom thinks that everyone is so happy and fine the way they are. Are you happy with us living like this?"
"No"
"Then you need to let mom know sometimes. Its okay to tell her that you don't like living this way. She needs to be reminded sometimes. Its okay to tell her, or me, when you don't like what she is doing."
"But you do it different. Its like, when you do it.....its easier."
"Thats because I love you more than anything in the world and I would not hurt you. Mom is not doing the right things right now, I don't think, but I can't control her. And I still don't think she should have a boyfriend."
"Who?"
"You know who."
"Momma says that they are just friends."
"Yeah, thats what mom says."

I reminded her that if she is not happy or that when mom talks to her, be honest. I reminded her of the time that her mom and I had our last conversation last Monday. That I know that Tom had gone over and that later in the night, she and her mom were talking. D7 was acting upset and the wife was asking her if she was missing me, or if she was upset about Tom being there.

D7 said that she just shrugs her shoulder and shakes her head when they have those talks. Thats when she was telling me about me being easier to talk to.

"She does it different" she says.
"Thats because mom wants to keep thinking that her way is best. Sometimes mommys and daddys think selfish and they only care about themselves. That as long as THEY are happy, then thats all that matters."
She asks, "Do YOU know anyone who is selfish?"

"Oh yeah, I do."

I also mentioned that I can't take care of mom anymore. She asked why and I told her that mom wants to do things on her own now, but that I still loved her and that all my focus goes on to her and her sister and her brother, as far as I was concerned.

My poor little baby.

[InLikeFlynn]

Hey you nipped this in the butt about having "SH" around your kids???

[hopeful4her]

As far as I'm concerned, she knows my stance on his being around my kids. I've told her, even with the little meeting we all had when she first moved out and I found out OM helped her with her new furniture, he has still been around.

At that little meeting, she told us that he won't be coming around anymore, but I'm sure that didn't last too long. Dunno.

I think he comes for visits, but I don't think they go out together as a little family unit. As far as I know.

Nothing I can do about it. She is going to do what she wants, whether I like it or not. She is just foolish and I cannot control her actions.

[hopeful4her]

Feeling kinda down. The wife came by and picked up the kids about 30 minutes ago.

We went to the movies on Friday night. We saw Bedtime Stories, which was very good.

I had some conversation with the wife last night. I was thinking that D11 was having some kind of allergic reaction. We had been working on her school project most of the day. It started on Friday night with her itching, but she didn't really let me know. It was just before she went to bed. On Saturday, at my parents, she was complaining about scratching. My mom gave her some Benadryl and it seemed to clear up. Yesterday evening, I had her bathe in some Aveeno oatmeal treatment. It still came back Saturday night.

I called the wife to ask her if she has ever had hives. It was around 9:30 last night. When I called, I asked if she was busy. She said, sorta glumly, that she was watching a movie. I could hear Moe barking in the background, so I know she was home. Funny thing is that she WAS barking. She usually doesn't bark. I noticed that the wife never turned the movie down nor paused it either, which I thought odd.

If I was alone, I would have paused it. If I was with someone, I would imagine that that person would have paused it, so that I wouldn't miss it. I think she would have been alone, because the does the same thing in the car. If she is listening to the radio, she doesn't turn it down or off, which is annoying.

Not that I had put any thought into it, of course.

We talked for a while about what hives are and that she has had them before. She thinks it was hives and I had told her that since I had never had them, I was almost tempted to take her to the clinic. Her stomach, shoulders, arms, neck and back all looked like she had been stung by bees all over.

I had given her some more Benadryl, which helped but also made her VERY sleepy most of the day yesterday. She talked to both of the girls and then got back on the phone with me. She told me that she would call me in the morning to check on her. Funny, but when D7 was talking to her, she kept asking her, "Who's there with you?" I could hear the wife saying, "I'm watching a movie at the apartment." I didn't hear her say, "No one."

We missed church this morning because I had discovered that my house had a water leak outside of the house that I'm now going to have to tend to.

She didn't call until about 11:15 this afternoon. We were getting ready to head out to the grocery store to get hamburger stuff to make for dinner. I let D7 answer the phone. She had told D7 that she was in the car with Moe and dropping off movies. D11 told her our plans and that she felt a lot better.

D11 had fallen asleep on my bed, so we slept with her lying one way and me the other. I know she was happy this morning that she got to sleep with daddy again.

Anyway, D11 was asking the wife if she was going to pick them up at the house and if she was going to bring Moe. She asked this because she had a dream last night that her mom had come to pick them up and brought Moe.

So, I didn't have to ask. The wife told her to call her when we have finished eating and are ready to get picked up. After the call, I kept thinking of having the girls call her back and invite her for burgers tonight. I thought and thought about it and then decided against.

We got home and I had them get their things ready, becaue I'm not like the wife. I'll have their stuff ready for her when she picks them up. I fired up the grill and cooked up some burgers and made curly fries. I made extra, just in case. The wife ended up calling at 6. I answered the phone this time. She asked if the girls were ready to get picked up. I said that they were.

"Well, they never called me." Not sarcastic, just a statement.
"Wadda you mean?"
"D11 was supposed to call me when they were ready."
"She didn't say anything." I lied.
"Well, S14 and I are at the grocery store. We'll head over after we drop the groceries at the apartment."
"Ok"
She asked if the girls had eaten and I told her that they had. I then told her that if they were hungry, I have hamburgers here. She said okay.

She gets here about an hour later and the girls are showing her their rooms for some reason. As she walks by me, I tell her hi and she says it back. I start to reheat the burgers and take the fixens' out. I warm some buns and tell S14 to make his burger.
When the wife comes back, I motion to her to make her burger. We all sit in the living room and watch something on tv, but mostly the kids are talking to each other. The girls have their hamsters, the dogs are looking at them and smelling the burgers, so I think they were wanting a snack. The wife kept telling the girls to put the hamsters back, because they were making her nervous being around the dogs.

She complimented me on the burgers. When they were done, she took the plates to the kitchen, told the girls to get their stuff and started cleaning the kitchen up a bit. I just let her and I helped the girls gather their stuff. I helped load some of the stuff and back inside the house, the wife thanked me for dinner.

She had her typical look of....the best way that I can explain it is a look of guilt. Not happy, not nonchalant, not mad, not really sad. Like a look that some one has when they feel bad about something. Her little half smile. Big hugs and kisses for my kids. I went outside and watched them leave. We kept waving goodbye to each other, and then they were gone.

The wave of sadness came over me, but I kept my composure. A depressing feeling of an empty house. Hate it.

My bud called me because I had texted him from the grocery store. Ribeyes and NY Strips were on sale for $4 a pound. I stocked up on 6 steaks. We might get together on Tuesday to watch a local high school basketball game.

I already can't wait for next Sunday. The girls and I have been together for 24/7 for that past whole week. Even D11 asked if they were going to stay at moms for two weeks. I reminded her that they were only here for a week and we both laughed.