Just that the fact that he could have feelings for another woman meant there was something very wrong with us.
You've never looked at a guy during your whole entire marriage and thought, wow he's attractive, he's got a great personality, etc...??? EVERYONE always notices OP and may even have feelings about them. That's normal! It's what you do with the feelings, and where you set the boundries that makes the difference.
For example, I've worked with guys I thought were attractive, and one who even flirted with me. But knowing I was married I would NEVER act upon it even though it was very tempting. Certainly it would have been easy to say to myself, my marriage sucks and gosh, a couple of us co-workers are just going out for drinks after work. But since I knew there was chemistry I completely avoided situations where anything could start up. Also, just because I had feelings toward someone doesn't mean my marriage, or my husband, mean any less. (Although during that time I will say I wasn't too thrilled about my marriage).
Affairs are not a matter of feelings for other people. We all have the ability to have feelings and chemistry with other people. Affairs don't occur because of that, they occur because a lack of boundries.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
