When do the tears go away ?

[still hopeful]

You, my brother, are welcome. I loved your post. You sound MUCH better. I am so happy for that. I will post more in detail later (yes, OF COURSE! ), but just a quick post for right now to acknowledge YOU for turning the corner you needed to turn to allow you to SEE the positive possibilities in front of you and yours, and to congratulate YOU for making the DECISION to change YOUR attitude.

In a similar way that my friend, frank_D, helped me get through the worst of MY times, I want to help you (& others) get through yours (& theirs). frank_D also encouraged me to give back to others when I was emotionally able to give back because, by giving back, I would always keep what worked positively for me in my situation in the forefront of my mind to assist in keeping me from forgetting my fruitful efforts and to help me to NOT backslide.

Remember to surround yourself with others who are on YOUR side and who support your efforts in the vein of reconciling your damaged M and family unit. You seem to have good, supportive friends around you. Be with them often. Talk with them more often. Additionally, you have friends here. When all else fails, blog here. 'Talking' always helps me to organize and process my challenges and to make the best decisions on how best to proceed. Perhaps the same approach will help you. Regardless, you have at least two posters here who will walk what often feels like a deserted road but, it is NOT deserted.

Keep this in mind as your journey continues; you may have trudged through the 'worst' already, but you also may NOT have reached that point. Regardless, you will have MANY more peaks and valleys in your journey; personal, professional, marital and familial. Although everything feels personal, much of what happens is NOT personal. Others, including S2BXW, live their lives with themselves in mind first, NOT you. That fact hurts, but it's true. It's also sobering and helps you to keep in mind that while your troubles suck for you, their troubles suck for them.

Be humble. Be compassionate. Be present. Be real. Talk soon to you, brother.

Tom

p.s. Your PMA is yours as long as you decide claim it, nurture it, and protect it. Give the world the gift of the new and improved you.