Bill, believe me, I am closer to letting go than I may seem to be. I am holding on still because to be honest the fact that he seems happy with the situation throws me off balance. I am thinking "things cant be that bad if he is content (not happy) with the pace of this". But then I am not content nor happy and quite frankly I am sinking deeper and deeper in "misery". I realised I feel rejected again. Which isnt good.
I decided I will go on with my life as if we were separated heading for a divorce. Make plans with friends (I am going out tonight), taking care of me, give the kids over weekends to him and see where that takes us. No matter how noble and nice the idea of our family back together is, it may not be possible anymore. It's no use wishing things will fall back together if both of us dont want the same things...
Today, he called me once. Around noon. While driving from the one work to the other. Back to ...normal. K
