Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Oh believe me, I have my reservations. We started down this road once before, once again at her request. I then, was like you now and said "not as long as OM is around". But, I think that may ahve worked to my advatage since this time she thought I'd say the exact same thing and said she was getting rid of him on her own before I ever got the chance to utter a word in edgewise.

I also still in the back of my mind question "is this just to delay my moving out?" "Is it just to buy more time for her to get her D stuff in order?". But, analysis of her condition and demeanor the other night, as well as tone on th phone this morning tells me otherwise. She looked healthy for the first time in months and had that glow. Her tone says "I know I've done wrong".

I showed her as close to zero emotion as possible. As said, she came back 3 times when going to leave and her body language screamed "hug me you fool", but I sat idle. Sounds as if she will delay picking the kids up until I get home tonight so perhaps there will another chance to feel things out.

I imagine it's a combination of things. Her R to OM hit that mythical 6 month mark. The holidays, and her entire family grilling her as to why she left me for a social slug like him. Her seeing my ability to take control of the house, meals and finances (she damn near had a heart attack when I told her I got a car loan). And finally, I have become a far better father to my boys, I spoiled them rotten this Christmas and actually do things with and for them again, what did OM do? Sit on his duff, demand dinner, push the kids away and complain about his problems all the time. That in itself would be an eyeopener to me if I were her, sure I wasn't, am not, and will never be "perfect", but I surely strive to be the better man than not.