When I Look At The Stars

[mishka422]

You got it Gallahad!

There is one type of woman who teeters between both and unfortunately that would be me.

I'm a fixer who grew up in a very loving, supportive family environment. My father was my everything but died when I was 15 so I plunged into a lot of rebellion against every value I had been taught out of anger at God for taking my dad away. I subjected myself to men I should never have talked to, let alone gotten involved with. I put myself in situations that no good girl should ever have been in and panicked trying to get out. There was a lot of damage done to my psyche over the few years I maintained this rebellion due to abuse of various kinds from these guys. The fixer kicked in after that. I saw Gabe as a wounded puppy dog that needed rescuing and I was just the one to do that. He was sweet, romantic, loving and attentive. All the things that none of these other guys had been. Mind you, I was only 18 and had no clue that he could be playing a part with me and the reality would come out only after we were married. He played his part well for the 4 years we dated. All his demons came out of the closet shortly after our wedding and it was never the same again. Lesson learned the hard way.

You see, I thought he was the nice guy because he payed attention to me, etc.. I couldn't see beyond that to the underlying damage his childhood traumas had created. I wasn't mature enough to see that and I was still too damaged from all I had been through. We both needed IC but didn't know enough to get it.

So, in short, women are fixers and men are Gallahad's. Why can't a fixer and a Gallahad get together. I think it would be a perfect match. Both bringing out the best in each other? Hmmmm....interesting thought.