I, too am convinced that by leaving, H preserved any chance we might have at reconciliation, of course, without knowing that was what he was doing. Without having left, he would never have realized I was not the source of his discontent (there is that source again). Also, like you, I have had so much time and peace to re-discover myself as an individual and to heal.
You make an excellent point about relying on yourself. I have not had to rely on myself for a very long time. I was way too needy. It has been so god for me to have to learn how to do this. I am learning to be quite good at it.
I agree that your being under the weather would definitely hinder your efforts to keep your focus elsewhere. And loss of sleep is a hugh hindrance.
You are handling things so well, give yourself some credit and be a little more patient with yourself.
