Partner left after 9 years - He's 'confused' now

[mishka422]

but, any thoughts on whether or not you can 'go back' after whatever the hell she is doing to him ??

I assume you are talking about the sexual acrobatics she must be performing?

Why go back? Are you not creative? I know you are because I've seen your art Ali. Channel that creativity into your sensual self. Learn a new art - sensual massage or tantric sex. How about some of the Kama Sutra that you haven't tried. All very fun and exciting but can be so loving and tender at the same time. That's the kind of sex a true, committed, loving R has. Acrobatics have a time and place but as an every time thing it gets dull.

He feels just gone..but is that an illusion?

Gone? He is emotionally distant and is confused. Forcing any contact other than the friendly "thank you" for the gift would, IMHO, be a mistake. He's confused. His confusion that he expressed to his friends a month ago probably hasn't cleared. Remember Ali, men in general take much longer processing the big mental picture than we do. They don't deal well with emotions so all of this has him spinning in circles. Let him spin all on his own. I know it's hard but it's imperitive that he works through his feelings all on his own without interference from you. If you try to pull him back through convos that just have him apologizing over and over he will never see coming back to you as HIS choice, but as him fulfilling what YOU want.

I hope that rambling made sense. I tend to think far too many things at once and getting them all out onto a page before I lose my train of thought can come out very disjointed.