Good news Jeff... Breathe deep,go slow and let her lead... great idea DB coach... Your lucky to have great MIL for you.ITSY
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
I will go slow its weird after all this time I am happy but still a little scared that the bubble will burst. I am still being very positive and really am grateful for a fantastic MIL who wants us to do well she has been a good ear for my W.
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
So New years was good I called my wife to wish her a happy new year and she said I should have come home (joking).
On the way home (it was a 5 hour drive), I texted her Happy New Year I am on my way back. I later got a phone call from her that blew me away. She told me that she had been running from her issues and that the OM turned out to be something that she didn't want. She also said that the times she said nothing was happening were true, the way she articulated it, it was clear that something had happened. I didn't freak out, she was crying. I told her that no matter what happens I am here to support her and that I wished I could make her feel better. I acknowledged that she was hurting and that anytime she wanted to talk I would make myself available she cried even more. I told her I wanted to say the right thing but didn't know what that was, she replied thats ok.
Without going into more boring details she was opening up to me she had to cut the conversation off because her guests were there. I just listened and said I would be there for her. The called ended.
She texted me saying thanks for listening. I texted back a smiley face. She responded by saying thanks for being understanding. Time went by and I got another text stating the guests are sleeping in the study and your room (MY)what do you think about sleeping in my bed (as friends)for convienience. I texted back that works and she replied OK.
She called asking If I wanted to go bowling with them I said ok. We went bowling it was fun. We got home and she got a little freak out about the bed thing. She was talking to her mother on the phone then hung up and told me I was still sleeping in her bed.
Sleeping in the same bed was a little wierd, I stayed on my side but my heart was pounding, and didn't sleep much. I had to get up early and go to work she got up before I left saying she couldn't sleep but wished me a good day at work. On the way to work she called me twice.
I am not going to call her today I will let her. As of right now I am going skiing with her on Sunday. I let her decide.
Now that's a lot for the past few days and it's all her. I think I had better slow this down. She is back to work next week so that will help. I don't want to scare her off so I will just be supportive and no pressure. I think tonight I am sleeping in her bed again we will see how that goes.
That's all for now
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
Yes, good things are a happening. It makes it more difficult to be patient, but we have to be now more than ever. This is a long journey. Well worth the wait, just keep on dancing and being strong. It is a good idea to let them contact us. I am waiting for my wife to call on Sunday. Not having any expectations really, but I would like to make or do something nice if we do get together for lunch or dinner. I hope you two have a great time skiing.
Keep up the good work and remember what we do today will not show up today, keep planting the seeds.
Hey Jeff, just one thing. If you are going to stay in "her" bed again. Try and relax buddy. It is important that you show her that you are comfortable in that environment. Try not to roll away. Just relax and sleep comfortably. I know it's hard, but you have to just force yourself.
